Fairy Makes An Important Announcement!

My dearly beloved people. You have all been gathered here today, at my great personal inconvenience I might add, to hear the latest of my very important proclamations delivered on my specially commissioned Soapbox. An Announcement of such import that even little ol’ me is getting very excited! Tee hee.

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Humph, you two have finally deigned to put in an appearance, have you? I was in full flow and just getting to a really good dramatic bit when, in you barge, willy nilly, making me all loose my drift.

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I’ll just need to have a bit of a rest and gather my thoughts. I will need a big basket to put them in because some days I have lots of thoughts – mostly relating to food it must be said, but there are lots of them, hence the need for a jolly big basket! Now where was I? Was it something to do with food?

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Oh actually, that reminds me of the time I addressed the massed ranks of local salad growers, exhorting them to redouble their efforts to keep me supplied with light snacks. What a marvellous speech that was – they all enjoyed it so much, they threw lettuces and tomatoes! Kept me going for a day or two, that did.

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What was that Marigold? Which point would you like me to get to exactly?

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Oh yes, that reminds me of the occasion I was guest speaker at the Grand Order of Pointy Things annual convention. What an unalloyed triumph that was too.

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There was I, surrounded by enthusiastic purveyors of all things pointy, when all suddenly and without warning I was unanimously elected Piggy with the Pointiest Finger Nails of the year, with certificates, major awards and a medal type thing.

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Mariella, you can admire them at closer quarters if you wish.

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Or even closer. These extra special pointy ones come pre-adorned with optional Piggy Poo adornment.

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Err, right, back to the very serious and highly important, if not world shattering then jolly well close to it, ‘Announcement’.

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I’d better just make sure the autocue operator has managed to keep up. It wouldn’t do to miss any dramatic bits out.

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Right you two, places please. Remember to look all excited and anxious, hanging on my every word and generally paying attention and not wandering off. That means you too Marigold. MARIGOLD!

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Right, that’s better. Do at least try and keep all lined up neatly.

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Just time for a quick photo opportunity for the massed rank of the paparazzi, so Mummy can capture this truly historic Announcement.

Try not to crack the lense with your smile Mariella.

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Okay, I’m ready for the big finish. The dramatic tension has reached breaking point. Nerves have been suitably shredded sufficiently and national TV and Radio have interrupted their transmissions to record these historic words –

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We will be holding a Grand Fairy-Fest Piggy Party at my house next year – and you are all invited! Timings to be finalised in due course. There will of course be tea and cakes and what not, for the grown ups.

Salads’R’Us, superior caterers to the top piggies, have been booked. They will provide mixed salads, plain salads, 4 varieties of hay, green salads, fresh grass lightly chilled, tomato salads, leafy salads, tossed broccoli salad,  . . .  oh and due to Health & Safety – guest piggy’s will have to bring their own nibbles!

Book your cuddle cups – NOW!

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Scary Fairy and the Ghostly Goings On!

Hello loyal friends and dedicated Fairy followers. As if life isn’t scary enough for a sensitive little piggy such as me, my mousey family mentioned that something called Halloween was happening and Halloween meant everything would be ghostly and witchy and scary and pumpkiny and . . . actually, I am not sure where pumpkins come into it. They are not at all scary – in fact they are rather tasty. Perhaps people should get their facts straight before concocting such nonsense. In actual fact I’ll be having extra scoop of that little munchkin-pumpkin later for after afters. Anyway, to get back to the subject in paw – Halloween sounds just the ticket – let the spookiness commence!

So, Monty, is that Minty hiding under that spooky sheet then? Huh, not exactly scary is she? I am not even scarred a tiny bit. Errr, it is Minty, isn’t it??!

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But hold your pumpkins . . . what’s that Halloween type Witchy contraption lurking over there?

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Looks tailor-made for a tiny, petite elegantly furry Fairy-sized piggy. No good for big bottomed Mariella or furry-bloomers Marigold either. Move over a bit Monty and mind you don’t go poking your pointy nose where it isn’t required.

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I am sure this comfy snuggle hut Witchy hat must be just for little ol’ me. I expect it has my name on it somewhere.

You could be forgiven for being lulled into a false sense of security inside here. Talking of which, I think I have visitors – Eeeek! Look! Scary ghosties! MUMMMMMMMMY!!!!!!

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Eeeeek, Eeeeeeeek and Eeeeeeeeeeeeek again – those spooky ghosties have ghastly mouse type ghoulish feet poking out everywhere!!!!!

Just a spooky minute – they all have suspiciously familiar mousey type tootsies. What on carpet is going on?

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Oh I see – on Halloween you dress-up as exceptionally unconvincing ghosties and people give you treaty type nibbles?! LOTS of treaty types of nibbles – to go away??!!! Wow – I could get used to these singularly secular celebrations.

Well, if you mousies are all going to dress up and try to be really scary, I may as well join you and take charge – although I don’t really see WHY I need a ghosty sheet, I am already very ghostly with my own beautifully white fur coat – whhhhhooooooooooooooo!

Pick yourself up, Mabel dear. Oh! You fainted with fright! Well get UP, this isn’t the time for lolling around. There are serious treat collecting type activities to undertake.

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Right all you talented ghostly mousie apprentices – grab your ghostly costumes. I want a good clean scarefest with lots of wooooo’s and waaaaaaaaaaaaah’s and those sorts of things. Let’s scare everyone silly and make sure they give me, ooops, us double helpings of treats!

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Very convincing . . . love the disembodied ear motifs! Good work.

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I just need a few moments to get into character. What do you mean, “Fairy would make a good Goblin”? I heard that Monty?

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We are PRETEND ghosts, aren’t we? Just double checking. I knew that.

Right – lets get treat collecting – errr I mean scaring!

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Whoooooo . . . . and whoooooooooooooooooo some more . . . .

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MUM . . . . DAAAD! ANYONE! Even Marigold and Mariella . . . . HEEEEELP!

There are genuine, real ghosts everywhere. Get lots of those tasty treats that I like a lot, to make them go away!

Whoooooooooooo . . .  quick – hurry up with those treats. Lettuce and things, especially things. They should help reduce the scarinessability. Don’t be frightened, now, bring ‘em on and be extra quick about it, please.

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I bet you were all really frightened! Don’t worry – I was only pretending to be scary. I am still the ever popular furry bundle of cuteness you all know and love. But if I didn’t get my treats I was fully prepared to UNLEASH HELL – or even my TEETH.

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If Mummy and Daddy hadn’t piled my special pumpkin pie-dish with sufficient yumminess – I was going to get Mariella to sing! Now THAT would have been scary.

Looks like the greedy mouses have eaten far too many of their treats already!

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You know, some people really think there ARE real ghosts out there – me? I don’t believe a word of it . . .

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. . . but sometimes, if I squint my eyes and peer sideways, I think I CAN see ghosty guineas . . . one thing is for sure, they are NOT getting MY treats! The very idea!

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What a spectacularly successful Halloween we had! All that scareyfying and treat nibbling has made me hungry!

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Another Special Delivery for Fairy!

What do we have here then? Looks like a fan has sent me another present – all the way from Germany!

It’s a goodly sized box. I wonder what it could be! Whatever it is, it’s sure to be exciting.

I hope it’s salad. I have it on very good authority that German salad is exceptionally tasty!!!!

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Can you locate the label, Mariella? Does it say ‘TO FAIRY’? It does?

Be very careful that the box doesn’t give way under your enormous bulk!

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Move over – let the Fairy see the present. Now what do we have here?

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Yes, very interesting – lots of paper – just what I wanted! PAPER!!!!

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Bit more paper . . .

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. . . and plenty of it. It’s obviously needs lots of protection – is it a Piggy?

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Wow – MUMMY, LOOK! A bright pink fleece cuddle-blankie! And just my size! PERFECT!

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What’s this then? I’ll lower it down on this rope Mariella, get ready to catch it!

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Mariella! It’s the snack pack you eat – not the rope. You are a dope! A ‘dope on a rope’ – tee hee!

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I’ll just have a little rest before I carry on unpacking – all by myself – without ANY HELP!!!

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DOUBLE WOW! There is another super duped pack of yum yums – it’s a carrot tart, perfect for a restorative nibble.

Put those teeth away Marigold – that one’s mine!

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What’s that bright red holey thing then?

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Now then, are these the instructions? Let me see . . . . hum . . . . ummm . . . . yeees . . . right, hum . . . .

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Oh I see, it says in here that it is a lovely ceramic, nightlight holder type ornamental apple.

Ornamental.

So you can’t eat it then . . . oh well, perhaps Mummy can use it to make light work of her chores!

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Gosh, thank you Auntie Malilla. We really love our parcel and we really love YOU. XXXXXXXXXX

I’ll just have a quick rest while mummy arranges Marigold and Mariella for the group grateful photo.

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Actually, the ceramic apple makes a rather good posing podium – I can keep my eye on Mariella from up here!

Everyone say “Grass”!

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Piggy In The Middle!

Right Ho my hearties – it’s time to pose for our annual official portrait picture photo thingy.

Try to look stately and imposing Marigold. Just like me.

Everyone say “Fairy”!

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Mummy wanted us to squeeze together a bit.

Fufff. Trust Mariella to take things too far. And I do not need a comb-over type toupee either thank you!

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Right, that’s enough, scatter everyone – it’s time for our snack type rewards!

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Fairy And The Tumultuous Tower Of Cosy-Comfort Device!

We find our pals busily sitting around happily doing nothing – but all is not as it seems.  There is a simmering mood of discontent coming inexorably to the boil, emanating from the hairy occupant of the cheese chair.

Hummph, Hummmph and thrice Hummmmph!

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What ails you sweet Fairy? You don’t appear to be your usual bouncy, jovial self today.

Well Marigold, thank you for asking but – if you don’t know, I’m not telling you!!!

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And as for you young mousey type babies, shouldn’t you be busy sweeping chimneys or plaiting sand or doing something equally useful? And be quick about it!

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Err, *whispering* Marigold.

Yes Mariella, what is it?

I rather suspect that our international superstar sister is in one of her . . . moods!

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Oh goodness, what ever can the matter with her be?

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We think we know.

Err Auntie Fairy, can we borrow your highly developed cleverness skills for a moment, please?

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We want you to test our latest invention – it’s a tumultuous tower of cosy-comfort device.

What do you think of it Auntie Fairy, do tell us please? Oh yes, Fairy! Please do tell!

‘It will do’, proclaimed our furry hero.

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Fairy loves it! Yippppppeeeeeee, hurrrrrrrrrrah and various other squeaky outpourings of delight.

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Fairy had been peeved because everyone was sitting on her favourite comfy pads.

Of course, she believes passionately in sharing everything snugglable, just so long as her share is a little more equal than others.

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