Fairy Springs Into Summer!

Greetings my people – and welcome to a lovely sunny spot in the garden where I am sure you will all be eagerly awaiting my latest pontifications. So here goes.

Many of my loyal followers will be familiar with the term ‘Spring Cleaning’. Although more usually applied to what ones Personal Piggy Palace goes through when it gets its annual big clean-up jobbie, this term could also be applied to some of us who enjoy our pampering a little more regularly.

First things first though. To ensure the maximum pampering quotient is achieved, only the very best is good enough.┬áIt isn’t good getting all fobbed off with any old shampoo, washing up liquid or such rubbish. Oh no, the very idea.

To save you the bother of wasting valuable salad munching time researching the subject all round the internet and everything, I can tell you here and now there is only ONE shampoo company good enough for me to risk my legendary good looks on – Gorgeous Guineas.

Yes Mummy – I do insist on checking the bottle first.

Hummm, now let me see – ‘Spring into Summer Easi Rinse shampoo‘. Five fold orange oil and lavender. A special edition too! That looks just the ticket.

Now we have that all sorted out, there is just the small matter of the water.

Steady as she goes Mummy – lower away. I just want to dip a toe in to test the temperature.

I said ‘DIP A TOE’ – not ‘DUNK THE PIGGY’!!!!

Actually, talking of toes – don’t forget they need lots of extra special pampering.

Ooooooooh – stop it – that tickles!

I like this bit – all lovely and luxurious. Any chance of a scritch too Mummy?

Awww – can’t I stay in here just a little while longer?

Be very careful not to rub me up the wrong way – Tee Hee!

That got most of the sploshy water off – time for that all important blow dry.

Oooooh, stop it Mummy – your causing such a draft around my, err . . . moving swiftly on.

Gosh all that beautification malarkey takes it out of you. Time for a swift relax.

Oh yes – this is the life. My fur feels even more all soft and silky than usual.

What was that shampoo called, mum? Spring Into Deckchair?! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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Fairy tries her hand at Inventing!

Oh, hello there! I am just having some quality time with my Daddy.
Can you just scritch a bit higher Daddy? Down a bit . . . . up a bit! Oooh! That’s really perfect!
What a lovely, jolly useful Daddy.

What’s that, Daddy? You are going away for a couple of days? Eeeeeeek! WHEN exactly? Oh heck, how inconsiderate. That means I won’t get my full quota of daily back rubs.

Now then Fairy – don’t panic. Let me see . . . time to consult my little book of brilliant inventions. It has all the answers!

Right then, quiet please, I am going to be exceptionally busy in my little workshop.
If you all promise to sit still and keep quiet, you can watch, learn and wonder.
Pay attention now!

I just need to gather some of my trusty tools . . .

They are kept in this jolly useful biscuit tin type contrivance – pity there isn’t a sustaining snack or two in there too. All this inventing is jolly hard work and hungry tum making.

First, you need to draw up lots of green prints, complex plans, detailed drawings of what it is you are going to invent and all complicated things like that. Leonardo De Pigggy got all his very best ideas from me!
Lots of scrunched up balls of paper make it look like you have had loads of very Good Ideas. More good ideas than you could shake an antique measuring type stick at!

Yuk! Get this nasty bit of wood thingy off my head top – everyone knows guinea pigs hate shavings!

Right, just let me consult my inventing book again . . .

Oh yes! Now for the really tricky part . . . for this bit you need some suitable stand-in handy type wotsits – just like these –

They need to be pink, just like Daddy hands. Just a mo, I must perform my handy-stand-in suitability test.
They need to be able to perform perfect pats – just like this. Check!

But what about these pudgy finger ends? Will they pass the highly technical itchy-scritchyness test?

Mummmmmy! Can you put the pesky batteries in so I can get my invention all road tested.

I’m all braced and ready! You can turn them on now please Mummy – soon as you like.

Oh yes! This is all very nice and ‘Rubbery’!

The finger tip action is just the job, giving my shoulders a nice relaxing rub. And yes – this invention does have a proper patent and everything – that’s what makes it so shiny.

I can’t help but think there’s something missing though . . . .

Watch-it! Now they really do look like my real Daddy with time on his hands.

What do you reckon, Mummy? I think my new prototype invention type thingy is just like the real thing – but a lot quieter.

I will miss my real Daddy’s handy scritches . . . but these super duper Fairy flippers will be just the job for a day or two, I suppose.
Now, about my dinner . . .

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Fairy In The Kitchen!

I am back! I went for a jolly long flight but I am here, safe and sound, on terra firma – well, actually I am perched atop a Quince at this exact moment –

Hey, Mum! What are we doing with these Quincey type fruits then?

Oh well, I did ask. Looks like my salad, all sliced up properly!

We made chutney – lots of chutney!

Now then, what shall we make next? A treat for mummy and daddy, for making lots of lovely salads for me!

Are the cakes ready yet? Hurry!

I am a salad-pig myself but even I could be tempted by these sticky fingers!

We’ve had a smashing day, busy in the kitchen, but it must be MY teatime now.

That’s it! I am fed and watered and now it is time to settle down to my favourite radio programme – Desert Island Salads!

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Everything In The Garden’s Perfect!

We have a problem.

In between snacking and snoozing, and snacking a bit more, all I keep hearing are mutterances about the garden.
The gist of it is, the long, cold winter killed a load of plants off.

Well, it isn’t a problem now! Mum! Look at all these nice new plants I’ve found for you.

Just pop them in where the gaps are and things will be as right as . . . as right as . . . err . . . HAY!
Look! This one is nice. Well, it IS pink so it must be ok.

Anyway, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I am sure there’s something good over yonder . . . can you prise me out? It is a bit of a snug fit in this plant tray. What do you mean, ‘my bottom’s too round’? Humph!

No! I didn’t mean this! It is far too YELLOW.

I was actually thinking about something a bit more GREEN.

Ahaha! This is much better. Who needs flowers when you can your teeth into some jolly decent grass?
Nom, nom, nom . . . . everything in the garden’s grassy – perfect!

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Fairy’s Beautiful Pea-Green Boat!

Ahoy! I say! AHOY THERE!
Chocks away!
I am going to sail my my beautiful new boat on a voyage across the seas.

Errr . . . what do you mean, ‘I have to row’? Isn’t it powered by anything?
Well, I’ll soon see about that!

That’s it, Marigold – row, row, row the boat, and off we go!
That Marigold is very useful sometimes.

Oh no! Look at all that water . . . it’s coming in!

We’re filling up! It’s time to bail out!

Whe . . . where’s Fairy? She’s left me in a sinking ship.
Bail out, Marigold, swim for it . . . squeaks a little voice from the shore.

Phewee, back on my kitchen table now after all that excitement.
I think we will keep the boat moored here, then I can hop in and have a snooze whenever I like.

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