Fairy Springs Into Summer!

Greetings my people – and welcome to a lovely sunny spot in the garden where I am sure you will all be eagerly awaiting my latest pontifications. So here goes.

Many of my loyal followers will be familiar with the term ‘Spring Cleaning’. Although more usually applied to what ones Personal Piggy Palace goes through when it gets its annual big clean-up jobbie, this term could also be applied to some of us who enjoy our pampering a little more regularly.

First things first though. To ensure the maximum pampering quotient is achieved, only the very best is good enough. It isn’t good getting all fobbed off with any old shampoo, washing up liquid or such rubbish. Oh no, the very idea.

To save you the bother of wasting valuable salad munching time researching the subject all round the internet and everything, I can tell you here and now there is only ONE shampoo company good enough for me to risk my legendary good looks on – Gorgeous Guineas.

Yes Mummy – I do insist on checking the bottle first.

Hummm, now let me see – ‘Spring into Summer Easi Rinse shampoo‘. Five fold orange oil and lavender. A special edition too! That looks just the ticket.

Now we have that all sorted out, there is just the small matter of the water.

Steady as she goes Mummy – lower away. I just want to dip a toe in to test the temperature.

I said ‘DIP A TOE’ – not ‘DUNK THE PIGGY’!!!!

Actually, talking of toes – don’t forget they need lots of extra special pampering.

Ooooooooh – stop it – that tickles!

I like this bit – all lovely and luxurious. Any chance of a scritch too Mummy?

Awww – can’t I stay in here just a little while longer?

Be very careful not to rub me up the wrong way – Tee Hee!

That got most of the sploshy water off – time for that all important blow dry.

Oooooh, stop it Mummy – your causing such a draft around my, err . . . moving swiftly on.

Gosh all that beautification malarkey takes it out of you. Time for a swift relax.

Oh yes – this is the life. My fur feels even more all soft and silky than usual.

What was that shampoo called, mum? Spring Into Deckchair?! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Fairy’s Flower-Bower!

Hello . . . . HELLO! Is there anyone out there?
I am here – in HERE! I KNOW you can’t SEE me, but I AM here!
I am busy right now, being a little Flower-Fairy . . . can you come back later, please . . .

Hehehe! That should keep all my viewers guessing!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z

I’m just having 5 more minutes in here . . . yes! IN HERE!! What’s that? Yes! Those ARE MY flowers, keep your paws OFF!

Yes! I really am here this time! And I will show you what’s what just as long as you stand well back – that goes for you too Marigold, and YOU – Mariella . . . you are NOT getting your big bulgy body in HERE!

I’ll give you a twirl then . . . . the left side . . .

. . . and the right side.

So! There you have it! Or rather, there I have it – my very own Fairy-Flower-Bower! All pretty, just like me!
Thank YOU, Aunt Jenny, for making me such a wonderful, flower-powery creation. I LOVE it!

C’mon then you two, you can have a little go while no is looking.
You first, Marigold. Just don’t go and get stuck!

Piggy In The Middle!

Right Ho my hearties – it’s time to pose for our annual official portrait picture photo thingy.

Try to look stately and imposing Marigold. Just like me.

Everyone say “Fairy”!

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Mummy wanted us to squeeze together a bit.

Fufff. Trust Mariella to take things too far. And I do not need a comb-over type toupee either thank you!

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Right, that’s enough, scatter everyone – it’s time for our snack type rewards!

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Fairy Gets More Treasures Than She Bargained For!

Nanny Fairy here people, my good works and kindnesses to bestow.

Minty and Monty wanted a quiet day out together today, probably to get me a big prize or plan a huge surprise party for me or something of that me-centred nature. I, of course, volunteered to look after all the baby mices for them. Such a selfless little treasure I am!

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Hello there Marmaduke, Mabel and Petunia. How lovely for you to have me to look after you today.

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Right you three, lets be ‘aving you. Are you all sitting comfortably? Hold tight. We are off for a quiet genteel stroll around the garden on this beautiful sunshiny day, in your beautiful new shiny pram.

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Mummy, we are going to set off now mummy. We won’t be too long, Mummy. You might want to prepare some restorative sustenance for when we get back. I will be very much in need of it because I will be doing all the hard work type things in the hot sun, pushing this great big heavy pram and everything.

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Chocks away! Oh! Hang on . . . I will need a quick energy boost before we move off.

Now where did I put that secret stash of grass? Looks like you are sitting on it, Marmaduke, hotch over.

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Yum, yum. Now, you three can sit there patiently and admire a virtuoso display of piggy formation nibbling and at the same time get a free maths lesson.

Munch, 2, 3, 4. Chew, 2, 3, 4 . . . and what comes next, Petunia? Yep, swallow! Gulp 2, 3, 4 . . .

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That was just the ticket. Right, brace yourselves – time to launch this show on the road.

Just a cotton pickin’ minute – what’s that up ahead?

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It can’t be, can it? It looks like it could be . . . I can’t believe it – we might have stumbled across a mythical, fantastical, storybook type treasure, beyond the wildest dreams of piggy avarice. . . A Sweet Corn Leaf Mine!!!!

Corn drying

Whoooooooah! Look! By ginger! It is!


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Goodness – this looks like a very picturesque picnic spot. Let’s just sit and eat the scenery for a while.

Nomm, nomm, burp – pardon! Nomm, nomm . . .

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We can’t possibly leave all this yummy stuff here to go to waste . . .

I know, let’s pile as much as we can into the perambulator.

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I had better sit up here and make sure nothing falls overboard.

Come on then mices – heave ho. Let’s make tracks for home.

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Put those little mousey backs into it. Puuuuuuush!

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Hummph, we don’t seem to be getting very far. Are you all trying?

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What’s that, Mabel? One of the wheels has sunk into the gravel?

Well, if you had pushed a little harder, and complained a little less . . .

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MUMMMYY – HELP – WE’RE STUCK! Ring the breakdown man, quick. We will need an extra big, strong tow truck!

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No need to panic – I have it all fixed and fettled.

There was nothing for it – I lightened the load – by eating all those yummy leaves!

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We haven’t heard the end of the soon to be legendary Sweet Corn Leaf Mine saga, no doubt . . .

Fairy Grows Grass! FREE Online Tutorial.

Righty ho. This looks like the perfect spot to show off my horticultural expertise. Just need to get all my equipment spread out. These little plastic pots are just the ticket!

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Now then, you two can be my Posse. Pay close attention, look photogenic and don’t forget to make me look good. Don’t say too much either because you might get it all wrong. Just stay put in your bags – I like the stripes, they are rather fetching aren’t they?!

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Try not to make so much rustling noise Marigold – goodness me, I can’t hear myself think.

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Opening music, lights, camera and . . . ACTION!

Oh! Am I on? What, now!!!

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Hello, good evening and welcome to ‘Fairy Grows Grass’, starring me and my very bestest friends, who have to appear for contractual reasons but don’t actually do very much in the way of creative input or indeed, any of the actual hard work.

Before we get down to the growing stuff, a couple of honourable mentions:

I am deeply indebted to Gorgeous Guineas who very kindly supplied us with sample packets of seeds for testing purposes, and to our great friends at Planet Guinea. They have insisted on supplying us with even more seeds on a regular basis. This means we will be doing lots of testing and I will be doing even more nibbling. I have, of course, readily agreed to waive my usual charges – anything for lots of slap up feeds!

Now – it’s on with the show!

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Lets have a nice close-up showing my best smile and everything.

What you must do to get the grass stuff growing is, take a good sized saucer and fill with best quality compost. Get Mummy or Daddy to do this because it can be a bit messy and you wouldn’t want to get your paws all dirty now would you? Anyway, it’s all in a day’s work to them and a bit too much like hard work for me.

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Right, use this handy rake thingy to spread the seeds thinly over the compost. Is this right Mummy?

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Hummph – this is definitely getting a bit too much like hard work – soon be time for a commercial snack break.

Actually, I think this saucer thing needs a lot more seeds to make it worth all the effort. It’s a good job we have plenty in stock.

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Pile them in, that’s it Marigold, they’ll be as right as ninepence! Yum, that’s more like it!

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Add a drop of water and that is all there is to it. It’s easy peasy!

Remember to smile sweetly at the camera again.

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Well, that wasn’t too hard now was it Mariella?

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What you do next is sit back and watch as the seeds germinate and grow into lunch before your very eyes.

Does my nose look big through this?

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Keep a close eye on them and . . . here comes lunch . . . keep watching . . . any second now . . .

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Err – Not much seems to be happening just yet. And Mariella has nodded off!

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No, nothing. Hummph, not even a weed! Come on seeds, don’t shilly-shally!

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Mummy, Mummy come quick. There appears to be a slight major technical hitch.

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Can we stop the camera while I consult with Mummy please?

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Hummph, I know patience can be a virtue for some people – but there are limits!

I’ve been waiting lots and lots of ages and I am getting VERY hungry.

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Okay, right, I see. It seems we may need to give them a little bit longer before they actually do something.

What’s that Daddy, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’?

Very profound I am sure. But what exactly ‘Rome’ has got to do with my grass seeds, I do not know!

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It must be getting late, yawn – soon be bedtime. Yawn. I can hardly keep my eyes open.

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Mummy, is it okay if we sleep out tonight to guard the grass things? We don’t want to miss any of the action.

Marigold and Mariella can snooze in their sleeping bags.

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MARIELLA, can you keep those snoring type noises down a bit please?

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Night, night my people.

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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z z z z

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Wow – look what happened overnight! Yippee! Time for our breakfast!

Yum yum, nom, nom, burp! sorry pardon, nom . . . perfect.

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This grass growing business really is Magic! And I did it all by myself – ‘Just like that’!

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Don’t forget, you can buy your very own packets of special scrummy seeds direct from Planet Guinea.

By following my detailed instructionals programme above, you are sure to grow your very own tray of fresh, scrumptious grass, in no time at all! Well, maybe not quite as quick as mine – for that you would need my added ‘Fairy Magic’!

I hope you enjoy growing (and munching) it just as much as we all do here!