A Day At The Pig Spa!

By Mildred on 23/11/2012

Are YOU looking for the perfect pampurring session for your piggy? Look no further.

My recently opened Fairy’s Very Posh Piggery Pig Spa offers ALL the very latest in modern spa type beauty treatments – with light lunches and snacks included for VIP’s (Very Important Pigs). To avoid paw stomping disappointment, advance booking is highly advisable.

If traveling from outside the UK, we suggest a one way ticket – the management reserve the right to pignap the piggy if they (and me) take a liking to them.

Here’s my de luxe Pig Spa treatment room, within the brand new, architect designed Piggery complex.

Incorporating a floatation bath, temperature controlled drying device, vibrating massage chair, fluffy towels and featuring luxury products from the world renowned range of Gorgeous Guineas Shampoos.

Right! Enough of all that nonsense, bring on the clients! Who’s first? (as if we didn’t know!!!!)

Stand aside – Fairy first!

Hummm yes, a nice relaxing session in the posh new floatation tank, it’s the piggy’s whiskers.

And you even get a bit of peace and privacy from the paparazzi.

Yes, we don’t want just anyone seeing me in the bath!

Another rinse required Mummy. Lovely.

Oh yes – you can’t beat a good wafting session with a furdryer.

Time to take it easy in this gently vibrating massage chair . . .

With integral snacks! And lots of them. Who’s next then Mummy?

WHAT? ME? Errrrrrrr, I don’t think so. I can’t swim, and besides . . .

Oooooooh – it’s actually quite nice!!!! Can I have one of those head and ear massage rubs now please, Mummy?

This personalised body wrap treatment is designed to slim and contour my fur coat. Not that it needs it you understand.

That was BRILLIANT! Who’s next then?

Me, me! Superstar model in waiting and celebrity wannabe – Pixie.

I like this Gentle Pamper Tension Busting Body Wrap.

Have you taken LOTS of photos of me looking cute Mummy?

Goodness! Who turned this massage chair on to full ppppppppppppower?

I’m ready for my custom coat styling now. Can you make me have a curly Texel style coat, please?

It’s lovely in here. I feel all relaxed and pampered.

My tummy feels a little rumbly though, it must be time for a snackette.

Well chums, you all look very beautiful too – almost as beautiful as moi.

What a super day at the Fairy Piggery Spa! With any luck, we can have another session tomorrow!

 

 

 

 

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Smile For The Camera!

By Mildred on 22/11/2012

I have been told to show you the ropes, Pixie.

Being a top model myself I know all about posing for the camera, you know.

Here we go – SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!

Say ‘grass’, Bear!

Grass? GRASS? Did someone mention grass?

Fairy, where have you hidden the grass?

I think Fairy has eaten it all up while we were busy posing, Bear!

 

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We’ve Moved!

By Mildred on 20/11/2012

My Mummy says patience is a virtue, whatever that is supposed to mean. She has been wait, wait, waiting 15 very odd years for a super dooper bespoke Piggery. Hummmph – that seems like a very long wait indeed, poor Mummy. I suppose you would need to be very patient and very virtuous to wait all that time. Funny really as I have never thought of Mummy as being patient before! For little me, Pixie and Bear, the wait hasn’t been quite so long – just a short week of total discombobulating disruption and it is done!

Tra-la!

We’re IN! And about time too, if you ask me.

Muuuuuuumy! Come on in, it’s great!

There’s loads to see.

Hurry along Bear, we’ve been over there, it’s this way next. Keep up, Pixie!

This is our dining room area. Not exactly ample – but it will do!

Looks as if all this salad could do with a bit of a tidy up . . .

That will be a job for me then . . . nom nom . . . mmm. Jolly hard work all this munching, but very tasty!

Hay up Pixie! This looks just the ticket.

Oh yes indeed, some jolly nice sweet smelling meadow hay.

And there’s room for the three of us – just! Only the best for Fairy and her gang.

Now what else do I need to investigate?

Phewee! What a squeeze.

I’ll leave Fairy to it . . .

. . . while I selflessly help tidy up this little heap of grass someone thoughtlessly dumped here.

I really like our new Piggery Mummy.

Is there anymore grass clearing jobbies for me to do?

Yawn, stretch and another yawn for good luck. Now, did I hear someone mention GRASS?

Stand aside – there’s a Bear loose about this hoose!

Let me know when the next grass delivery arrives. I just need to test this bed thingy out for comfiness. Prod, poke, pummel – perfect!

While I am busy doing that, you can view the picture gallery. See how many of our ancestors you can spot.

Everyone’s up there. From Great Great Grandma Mildred Mittens, to the amazing Great Auntie Mavis. And don’t forget those wonderfully woolly twins, Mabel and Wilma. And look, there’s Auntie Matilda, Auntie Mary and dear Auntie Marigold and Mariella.

And look, there’s Big Wilma!

I say, listen up everyone! We LOVE our new Piggery.

Three cheers for the architect (my Mummy), the organiser (my daddy) and the clever joinery type men, Mark and Alan! But a very big thank you to all those Piggies who have empowered us all over the years with their love, characters and inspiration. The Piggery is dedicated to you all.

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Pixie And Bear’s Big Break!

By Mildred on 08/11/2012

Oooooh, errrr, howdy Fairy Fans. Fairy has decided that the time has come for us budding young starlets to write and star in our very first story – so here goes.

Ready Pixie?

Ready! Ready Bear?

Ready! Roll em!

Well I could be wrong, but it looks to me as if it must be nearly Teatime.

Yum – grass – our favourite. And there’s plenty for everyone. Tuck in.

Actually Bear, nomm, nomm, shouldn’t we, nommm, nommm be sharing some of this with Fairy?

Too late, the grass has nearly all gone.  Or it will have when I’ve swiped this last bit.

Ooooops! Pixie – where IS her Ladyship?

On a soft, snuggly blanket, not too far away . . . zzzzzzzzZZZZZ

What’s that Bear? There has been a catastrophic under supply in the grass department?

If tremulous tantrums of epic Fairy proportions are to be avoided you had better go and get Daddy – NOW.

Oh yes. You can always rely on Daddy to dish Fairy sized helpings of teatime salad.

That Pixie and Bear may well be young and eager, but they still have a lot to learn, and I will always be the real star!

Burp (pardon!)

 

 

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Scary Fairy And A Pair Of Halloween Horrors!

By Mildred on 28/10/2012

Now then my people, what have we here then?

Oh yes, I remember! It is almost that time of year to perform spookily scary Halloween type things involving witches hats and pumpkins and, and, and all things orange.

Right ho. This year I have two new souls to conjure with.

Listen up you two – if you thought Mummy was scary . . . tonight we are going to unleash, err something spooky. Any ideas?

Well Fairy, I thought it might be appropriate to loll around in this cosy pumpkin . . . in a vaguely tormented manner.

Or lie down on this soft cushion and look all mean, moody and menacing.

And while Bear scares sundry articles of under clothing off terrified viewers . . .

I’ll crawl in here and practise snoozing like, like . . . like a Banshee.

And I will hide in here and do my finest manic Halloween type laughter, ‘Tee Hee’ (in a really sinister voice).

All this Halloween type stuff is making me very peckish. I thought there would be trick-or-treat type treats!

Maybe I need to increase my horror inducing activity a notch or two.

Here we go – ‘Screech, howl, err, sundry zombie type moans’.

Perfect, or what?!

Pixie, I don’t want to appear unduly critical, but I think we may have gone a little too far with all this horror inducing mayhem.

Amateurs!!!!

What a dress rehearsal disaster. Not even remotely chilling, and that was the BEST those pesky two could do.

I give up. I’m staying in here until Halloween is over, or at least until teatime.

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Pack It In, Fairy!

By Mildred on 21/10/2012

Is this our new salad bowl, Daddy? It’s not exactly ‘ample’ is it?

It came in a jolly big box though. Hummm, this could be quite useful.

Actually, I have just formulated a brilliant and cunning plan, and this box will be ideal for its furtherance.

Daddy, we need to discuss this in private, please.

Can you give me a helping paw to get out please? Thank you very muchly.

Now, it’s time to activate . . . Operation ‘Postie”. Ma-ha-ha-haa etc *DEMONIC LAUGHTER*

Oh my whiskers, Bear! I’m not sure I like the look of this.

I think Fairy is going to post us back to Auntie Wendi! Boo Hoo.

Yikes! I think you are right Pixie.

I say, Hello, HELLO! Can someone come quick and jolly well rescue us NOW this minute, Please?!

Hehe! I was only teasing!

I wouldn’t ever send my new pig sisters back to Bonnie Scotland – I love them, loads, even if they do eat all my salad!

EAT ALL MY SALAD???!!!!

I wonder where Mummy keeps the Postage Stamps. Tee Hee!!!

 

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A Cosy Cavy!

By Mildred on 16/10/2012

Hello there my adoring friends – I know what you are thinking.

You are thinking, ‘Doesn’t Fairy look Soooooo Sweeeeeet in her cosy, white-dot-on-green-grass-look-a-like wrapper-upper blankie device’!

And you are right! I DO look sweet, SO SWEET! ‘Cos it says so!

Well anyway, it was nice for you to see me test driving my new comfortatory device but if you don’t mind, I would like some personal, piggy privacy, please . . .

while I have a crafty 40+ winks or so!

2 hours later . . . zzzzzZZZZZZ

Oh-ho! What’s that? An earthquake? Or maybe even two earthquakes! Hmmmh, I wonder . . .

Ooooh! Pixie, sit still and keep very quiet. Don’t even breathe!

We don’t want a freshly woken and therefore probably very cantankerous Fairy to spot us, now do we?!

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Driving Fairy Round The Bend!

By Mildred on 12/10/2012

Crikey Bear. Is this . . . it can’t be?!

It IS Pixie! We are IN Fairy’s very own legendary super car!

You drive, Pixie, I will try to keep these pesky hitch-hiker type Mousies in order.

Oh-ho! I knew it was too good to last! Looks like we have another passenger, Bear.

I’d like to see you try to keep Fairy in order!

Ooooh errr, what will Fairy say when she sees I am in the driving seat?

It’s okay – it was high time I had my own chauffeur.

Right you two – are we nearly there yet? Don’t worry if you get a bit lost Pixie, I make a jolly good pig-nav.

At the next junction . . . follow the signs for the salad!

C’mon, Pixie, get your paw down!

Oh move over Pixie. Let me show you how it’s done!

Parp-parp! Make way, the Fairy-mobile is coming through! Next stop – supper!

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Hay Is Not The Only Food!

By Mildred on 06/10/2012

Oi (from across the other side of the kitchen) is that OUR tea?

It’s just that there appear to be ONIONS in that salad. Mehhhh!

Phew! This looks much better! Delightfully onion free I note.

Oh yes, mmmm, nom.

This will do very nicely – compliments to the chef!

And, for some of the more eminent patrons, that will mean ME of course, pudding is served!

Looks like it is one of those ‘eat all you like’ establishments, Bear. Tuck in.

Yes, but do we get pudding too?

Thank you, Mummy. My tea and MY pudding were yummy – Burp – pardon! One day Bear, one day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Bags ‘o’ Treats!

By Mildred on 05/10/2012

Line up, line up . . . form an orderly queue!

Oh, ok, let’s just get stuck in then!

Nom, nom, nom . . . PIXIE, did you just BURP?

No! I am far too polite!

Do you like my hay hat . . .  followers of fashion would say it’s fascinating!!

It’s seems very quiet . . . has anyone seen Bear?

Here I am, coming up for air!

This bag of hay is the tastiest ever!

 

Thank you very much, Auntie Wendi and Uncle Martyn at Thistle Cavies Rescue for our very special treats.

We love them all – and we love YOU!

 

 

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Pixie Goes Where Others Fear To Tread!

By Mildred on 02/10/2012

What! Where are you two off to then?

Shhh! Don’t tell Fairy, I’ll just check in here for her secret salad stash!

 

Hummmph – looks very cosy. Perhaps I’ll just sneak in for a crafty little snoozlet.

Oh, there you are Fairy, at last. I was just going to keep it warm for you – honest.

Have you heard of the saying, “Butter wouldn’t melt”?

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Munchtime!

By Mildred on 26/09/2012

Jolly nice salad, chef! Thanks!

Hum . . . it all looks quite a lot for little me!

 

Oh good, here’s some help in the shape of a Bear!

 

Hehe! And I knew a little Pixie would be willing to help out!

 

C’mon girls, tuck in!

 

Crumbs! Looks like Pixie doesn’t need any help with the salad, Bear.

 

No! Just give me 5 minutes and I’ll have this little lot cleared away!

Nom, Nom, NOM!!

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