Fairy’s Marmalade Get Top Award – With Special Guest Appearance!

Welcome to Fairy’s Marvellous Magical Marmalade Factory

Hello my adoring fans and other people. I’m glad you could join me on this historic day in Fairy’s Fruitery. We have been selected by a very important group of Magical Marmalade big-wigs to be visited by an even more important celebrity type someone for possible inclusion in a world famous Marmalade Guide or Brownie or something equally grand. Oh joy!

I had better start rehearsing my welcome speech.

Ahem . . . you must be highly honoured for me to deign to accept this stupendous award . . .

What was that? I haven’t been awarded anything yet? Ooooops! Maybe we ought to get properly prepared for the inspection and all that.

Right, Mr Foreman Bear. I want you to try and keep your pesky mousie type helpers under control. I run a tight ship here and everyone has to look as if they know what’s what. Oh, and there’s no need to keep testing the Whisky Marmalade is there?

What was that noise?????

Ooooooh, errrr, I think the very important celebrity superstar type inspector has arrived.

Nervous? Me? Don’t be silly, I am performing a welcoming tap-dance with my knees.

Oh my ears and whiskers, it’s only that marvellous marmalade munching miracle – Mr Paddington, all the way from deepest, darkest Appleby!

Oh do come in your highness, take off your boots and make your self at home.

Please feel free to start your inspection whenever you want to. Oh, you have started already have you?

Squeak Squeek – Oh for goodness sake you two, come on stop messing about – stand up straight!

Squeak Squeak – One day I want to be big enough to fill Paddington’s shoes!

Oh the un-bearable tension! I don’t care for all this deliberating malarkey.

Oh my – I think he must have finished – he’s coming over ( and about time too – I’m feeling distinctly peckish!)

Oh thank goodness – not only have we been accepted into the special book type thingy – I have been awarded Three Spare Tyre Awards!

Well done everyone – Three cheers for Fairy!
Hip, hip, hooray!

And if that wasn’t honour enough – Fairy’s Magical Marmalade has received the highest accolade of preserve making achievement ever –

Paddington’s own ‘Official Seal of Approval’!

Very nice I’m sure – but not quite as good as Mummy’s special salad snacks. Bye now Paddington – off you go – I’m not sure this blog has room for two such inter galactic super egos. Anyway all that chest fur reminds me it’s almost time for my Daddy cuddle!

Frosty The Snowmouse!

Squeak! Squeak! Errrrr – Auntie Fairy – it looks like Mummy has forgotten to dust the garden this morning – either that or she’s been baking and has run amok with the icing sugar!

Don’t be silly little mousey types – it’s been snowing. Go on, off you go and explore.

Wowee – this snow stuff is brilliant! Cool!!!

Is his Lordship Mr Lord Plantagenet coming to play too? Just a minute – is that him over yonder?

Goodness – he must have been here a long time and got all snowed over.

Shall we take some of this snow back inside so Fairy can join in a snowball fight? Mummy wouldn’t let her play outside today in case she got all lost in the snow, what with being so bright-white herself. Mind you, if you told her it was food – she’d soon eat herself to safety!

Well my little mousey type kiddies, did you enjoy your first taste of snow?

What did I say????

 

 

 

Oh Come All Ye Faithful . . . Mices!

Oh come all ye faithful (followers)! Joy to the world (of mice) – Fairy is come amongst you!
It’s time for my pre-Christmas address to the Fairy type nation.

Just a minute! Who are YOU then? Mr Robin? Hum . . . birds don’t eat salad do they? No? Oh well, you can stay seeing as you’re here. Sit still though, no fluttering or chirruping type annoyances.
Now where was I? Oh yes . . . it has been another truly magical year, with lots of spiffing adventures and everything.

Errr, it might be my imagination and I apologise for the interruption but I can’t help noticing we do seem to have a somewhat larger, multitudinous even, Mouse family than I remember. Have Peregrine and . . . what’s her name again . . . oh yes, Pandora, been errr, visiting the Adopt-A-Mouse Agency???? I expect they are very busy at this time of year finding jolly good homes for all those unwanted gift-mousies. So well done you two!

You newbies look like the Three Wise Mice!
I’m your Auntie Fairy. And I am IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING particularly the fridge, so listen up and listen good – our job is to help spread peace, joy and goodwill to all living creatures. I know it’s a tough job – but we will do our best.

Right then, there isn’t much time so away you go and spread that good ol’ Fairy Magic – and don’t forget the salad.

A Very Important Meeting!

Greetings my people.

Fairy here, your very own Plutocratic type business mogul. Welcome to my Extraordinfairy Emergency General and Very Important Meeting. I held a big vote before you all arrived and you will doubtless be relieved to hear that I was elected Chair-Fairy – unanimously.

So, let’s get straight on with things and let’s not get sidetracked by irritating interruptions, irrelevant ramblings and boring bits – just like in Daddy’s big meetings! I declare this Meeting duly convened.

It gives me great pleasure, (well when I say ‘pleasure’, I don’t mean as much pleasure as a huge bowl of fresh lettuce of course, but anyway . . . ) to welcome to the table The Mouse Committee, and Mr Bear, my personal assistant and ‘chef de mission’.

Order, order . . . I said ORDER!
No Monty, you can’t have a double cheese with extra cheese on the side!
It’s time to sit round the bread-boardroom table, keep quiet and all listen attentively to me.

Hay! COME ON, settle down over there – don’t make me SHOUT!

Thank you. That’s much better.
Ladies, gentlemen, Mice, viewers, Mr Bear . . . according to my Big Book of Holding Important Meetings, we are here to discuss . . . err . . . the Principal Objective . . . the err . . . Constitution and things of that ilk.

Well, it does sound very good, impressive and everything. But goodness knows what it is supposed to mean?

Do you have any ideas Peregrine? Pandora? Thought not – too busy miss-describing houses for sale in your capacity of Estate Agent.

I’m listening . . . yes, errum, yes, I quite agree . . . you are probably right, Montmorency, it might well mean ‘Get on with it!’

Before we get to the main reason for convening this meeting, a quick ‘Point of Order’.

Mr Bear, it has been debated at length, in top secret talks, and my vote has been cast according to proper procedure. The motion has thereby been duly carried that your HAT is not suitable attire because it is all extremely bad taste.

Oh, I see – it’s stuck! Well serve you right for keeping sticky marmalade sandwich snacks under it!

Before we go any further, Mabel has requested a comfort break. All those in favour say . . . oh I can’t wait for all that nonsense, I’ll just help myself to another crafty snack or three.

nom . . . . nomnomnom . . . NOM. Nice spread, Mr Bear.

And now we . . . . ORDER, I said ORDER!
Let’s get all focussed now – I would like to announce the reason for convening this meeting – right NOW!

I have some beautifully crafted visual aids that will help make everything clear. Yes Minty, I might well look smug!

If I can just draw your collective attentions to this cart full of demonstratables.

Oi – get your nosy mousy whiskers out of there pronto. It had slipped my mind just what a pesky set of Mice you are.

What do we have here? Oh yes, very good, these are just the job.

See – a perfectly produced selection of extra tasty medals! No doubt I will be accumulating plenty of those in the not too distant future – wink, wink, hint type clue.

It’s in the can! Look, the envelope that contains the very expensive, professionally designed logo for my wonderful new venture. All will be revealed, in just a moment.

It’s got MY name on it and everything.

Do sit still will you? All that jiffling about is making me peckish . . . maybe there’s time for another quick snack.
‘Get on with it’? Oh, alright, Peregrine.

Ahem – I can now reveal my very Important News.

It gives me great pleasure to announce The OLYMPIG GAMES 2012 are to be held HERE, in Fairy-Land next summer – and you are all invited to compete!

We thought it would be a Good Idea to give you plenty of time to get into training. I know some of you more indolent types will need all the help you can get, not mentioning any names, Mariella.

I have already drawn up a big list of events I am likely to win, including The Back Stroke (put me down for the Sweetcorn Gold Medal), The Stretchiest Pig (ditto), Widest Yawn, Tidiest Teeth, Cross Country (a trot round the grass), The Hay-Tossing Championships, The Pop, Skip and Jump, Relay Zoomies and what not.

If you would like to propose some more events then let me know.

Thank you everyone for attending, Mr Bear for taking the Minutes (it took him hours), Regiane’s-Logo’s-While-U-Wait-Service for our smashing Olympigs Logo, The Olympig Committee Mouses for their squeakiness and for YOU, my devoted public, for . . . well, making it all worthwhile.

This meeting is adjourned until the next one.

THANK YOU! You can bring on the snacks now, Mr Bear.

Happy First Anniversary!

All clear left! Check the mirror – and we’re off!

Toot, TOOT! Watch out everyone, Fairy’s behind the wheel.
What a glorious day for a spiffing drive in the country.

No canoodling in the back. I’ve got my eye on you two!

Now then, before we go any further, I think you ought to know – I have organised a very special surprise for you.
As you may recall, it is exactly one year ago since the Big Day – your splendiferous wedding. A day not one of us will ever forget – especially me! I hear it is still discussed in hushed tones throughout the land.

Hold tight! We’re there! Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!
Oooops – bit heavy on the old brakes there!

SURPRISE! Happy First Anniversary!

Squeek, squeek (translate: Hello, Mariella. Hello Marigold. Wow – look Monty – all our friends and family are here, in Fairy’s marvelous marquee!)

Right lets get the catering arrangements under way. Come on Mariella and Marigold, give me a paw to get things ready will you please?

Now then – I left it all under that chair here.

Humph – maybe it was over here.

Er, excuse me. You don’t happen to have seen a whole lot of scrummy yum yums do you?

Unfortunately, the lack of tasty nibbles appears to be causing some ‘consternation and discontent’ amongst the guests.

MARIELLA!
There was no need for that – it’s not poor Minty’s fault you’re starving!!!

MARIGOLD!
Mr Bear had something in his eye – he was NOT making improper suggestions! Apologise to him this minute.
Oh, you WERE making improper suggestions Mr Bear!!!!!!

That’s better. Nice group photo time.

What do you mean, Marigold? You’re tired and hungry and want to go home this minute?

Squeek, squeek, squeeeeeeeeeeek! (Translate: It was an EVENTFUL party, Monty. Fairy is such a unique little organiser and always manages to produce something that will er, stay in the memory!)

Right, that’s enough of all that party type stuff. All aboard – just time to make one of my memorable speeches.
Thank you everyone for coming to my surprise Anniversary event and making it such a wonderful success! Bye, bye!

Broom, broom!! Hold very tight you two – we’re off!

That all went very well didn’t it? And I don’t think anyone realised that I had eaten all the ‘catering’ earlier today!

High Tea!

Ho, Ho and thrice Ho! Fairy here, your internationally renowned spirit of Christmas. Well, just to further illustrate what a selfless little bundle of philanthropic joy I am, I’m throwing a Festive Tea Party for Minty and Monty and the Pesky Mousie Babes so they can all show their appreciation for me and all my good works.

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Just need to hang a few of these festive looking baubles to make the scene look suitably decorous. Can’t help thinking I am Gilding the Piggy, but Hey Ho, it’s traditional at this time of year.

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Mmmmm actually, this bauble stringy stuff is very tasty – nomm nomm. And perfect for a spot of personal dental hygiene – that’s flossing for the uninitiated. Auntie Lisa will approve!

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Lets just double check the catering arrangements – woolly cakes and glass decorations for the micey guests and fresh salad leaves for me – perfect!

Hark! Do I hear the deafening pitter-patter of millions of thunderous tiny paws approaching? I’d better go and greet my guests. I’ll be back for that tasty lettuce in a moment.

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Oh – err, hello Mr Bear. I wasn’t aware I had invited you as an official gate crasher. Hummph, **thinks** – better hide the Sherry!

We are having Tea at the top table today. Don’t worry about the climb, Mummy will give us lift up there.

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Right everyone, lets have a group portrait of the grown-ups.

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And now one with the whole lot of mouseys. Look! We are all wearing matching ears!

Everyone say SALAD!

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Oh what joy it is to be such a popular Piggy.

Ready, steady . . . wait for it . . . let’s get noshing!

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Oh hello Marmaduke what do you think you are doing in my “seconds” bowl?

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MUMMMMMMEEEEEE – Marmaduke needs to, err, ‘GO’!

Hummph – You would have thought he would have thought to ‘go’ before he came! Or come before he went or . . . well, oh you know – GO!!!!

What was that Marmaduke? Oh it’s okay Mummy, he doesn’t need to ‘Go’ anymore.

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Oh for goodness sake, Petunia – how many more times – Mice do not like Salad!!!!

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Mummy – Mr Bear found the Sherry – this party is getting out of paw!

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Oooops – **tremor** hold tight! What was that? Some sort of Earthquake thingy? Yes Minty, I’m sure the Earth did move for you too!

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Mummy – everything just jiggled. Was that Daddy putting his foot down again?

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Goodness us – **lurch** there it goes again. Hold tight everyone.

MUMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE – I know I am famous for my savoir fare, but this is getting ridiculous! All this furry table top moving about malarkey is making me feel quite queasy.

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What was that Mummy? Oh, I see – it appears we have an extra special Big Guest Star featuring in today’s story. Well, no one told me and I am supposed to be The Star after all. Wait ‘till my Agent hears about this!

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Quick, over here everyone – apparently it’s time to go and meet our special guest – with the Big Personality.

Big Personality???!!! Just between you and me Monty – I think Mummy is starting to loose it!

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Mummy – where is it then? This special guest of whom you speak so eloquently?

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Whoooooooooooa – Crikey! Er, I think I might be a little bit bit scared at this point!

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Actually – it turns out ‘Winnie’ is a really Big Softy and apart from the odd unexpected jiggle, she made the perfect location for our High Tea Party. And being as how Winnie is so lovely, she has agreed to share her tea with me.

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Pity she has such a tiny appetite!

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Merry Christmas everyone.

I hope you, your family and all your furry Piggy friends have had a lovely peaceful and loving Christmas holiday. I can’t wait to share more of my pics and stories with you in the New Year!

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Winnie was adopted by Daddy for Mummy from Sarah. A Big Surprise for her on Christmas Morning!

Fairy Princess And The Pea!

As the nights draw in and Fairy’s thoughts turn to ensuring maximum night time comfort and cosiness, The Fairy Palace has taken delivery of a brand new sleep device, guaranteed to provide suitable softiness and snoozability.

Here we find our pint sized hero about to embark on its very first test drive – with a little “help” from the mousey babes.

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Squeak, squeak – goodness – this new bed is really soft and warm and cosy – we are sure Fairy is going to love it.

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Actually – she may love it a little too much and there won’t be any space left for us. Perhaps we had better add a finishing touch of our own! Now where did we put that peapod?

Shush, quiet everybody – judging from that steadily increasing munching noise – she’s on her way.

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Hello Fairy Fans everywhere. Fairy, your very own superstar piggy wiggy here. Not sure why you had to wait so long for my Grand Entrance – but all good things come to those who . . . oh, something profound and what-not. Right, on with today’s episode.

You might have noticed that my usual stack of cuddle cup beds arrangement has been replaced by a Super De-lux, Made to Measure, Five (at least), Poster Bed especially created for little me by Jenny at her highly appropriately named Piggy Palace. And jolly smart it looks too, if you don’t mind me saying. Even if you do mind me saying – it IS jolly posh – so there!

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Right Ho my little bed warmer type mousies – move over – here comes the Queen of the Fairies. Let the Piggy see the Pillow!

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Oh, ouch, ooch, aw, garooo, who on earth put a stonking great big rock in here? This mattress is so hard and lumpy – I will never be able to nod off.

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There is nothing for it – I had better organise a thorough search.

Come on you lazy lumps – give me a paw or six with this mattress.

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Nothing there!

Oh how disappointing – we will never get to the bottom of the problem!

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What’s that Petunia – someone has “peed in the bed”?????

Oh, “Put a Pea in the bed”, thank goodness for that!

I knew that was what you meant – I was just making a jolly jest type thing.

Ha Ha, peed/pea – what a funny quip – gulp!

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Tish, tsk – naughty mousey type nuisances.

Fancy playing such a fiendish trick on me – you can jolly well stay down there on your Cheese Chair and watch while I have a lovely snooze.

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Zzzzzzzz, snuffle, yawn, what a “lovely snooze” I am having  **loudly**

Even better without lots of tails swishing about everywhere causing a draft.

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Oh, it’s no good – I can’t be mean to those little scritchers.

I’m just a great big lovable softie and anyway, it might get a bit chilly without them!

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Okay then, I am sure you have all learnt your lesson – back in everyone – lets try again.  And Marmaduke – watch what you are doing with that peapod!Princess and the pea Fairy (17)b

Can’t be too careful though – I’ll just check that the Integral Fridge has been stocked-up. Perfect – just the right amount  of nibbles! That will help stave off any night starvation issues.

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Hold it – can somebody plump the pillows up for me?

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Perfect! Now, where was I? Oh yes . . .

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Night, night Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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Scary Fairy and the Ghostly Goings On!

Hello loyal friends and dedicated Fairy followers. As if life isn’t scary enough for a sensitive little piggy such as me, my mousey family mentioned that something called Halloween was happening and Halloween meant everything would be ghostly and witchy and scary and pumpkiny and . . . actually, I am not sure where pumpkins come into it. They are not at all scary – in fact they are rather tasty. Perhaps people should get their facts straight before concocting such nonsense. In actual fact I’ll be having extra scoop of that little munchkin-pumpkin later for after afters. Anyway, to get back to the subject in paw – Halloween sounds just the ticket – let the spookiness commence!

So, Monty, is that Minty hiding under that spooky sheet then? Huh, not exactly scary is she? I am not even scarred a tiny bit. Errr, it is Minty, isn’t it??!

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But hold your pumpkins . . . what’s that Halloween type Witchy contraption lurking over there?

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Looks tailor-made for a tiny, petite elegantly furry Fairy-sized piggy. No good for big bottomed Mariella or furry-bloomers Marigold either. Move over a bit Monty and mind you don’t go poking your pointy nose where it isn’t required.

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I am sure this comfy snuggle hut Witchy hat must be just for little ol’ me. I expect it has my name on it somewhere.

You could be forgiven for being lulled into a false sense of security inside here. Talking of which, I think I have visitors – Eeeek! Look! Scary ghosties! MUMMMMMMMMY!!!!!!

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Eeeeek, Eeeeeeeek and Eeeeeeeeeeeeek again – those spooky ghosties have ghastly mouse type ghoulish feet poking out everywhere!!!!!

Just a spooky minute – they all have suspiciously familiar mousey type tootsies. What on carpet is going on?

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Oh I see – on Halloween you dress-up as exceptionally unconvincing ghosties and people give you treaty type nibbles?! LOTS of treaty types of nibbles – to go away??!!! Wow – I could get used to these singularly secular celebrations.

Well, if you mousies are all going to dress up and try to be really scary, I may as well join you and take charge – although I don’t really see WHY I need a ghosty sheet, I am already very ghostly with my own beautifully white fur coat – whhhhhooooooooooooooo!

Pick yourself up, Mabel dear. Oh! You fainted with fright! Well get UP, this isn’t the time for lolling around. There are serious treat collecting type activities to undertake.

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Right all you talented ghostly mousie apprentices – grab your ghostly costumes. I want a good clean scarefest with lots of wooooo’s and waaaaaaaaaaaaah’s and those sorts of things. Let’s scare everyone silly and make sure they give me, ooops, us double helpings of treats!

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Very convincing . . . love the disembodied ear motifs! Good work.

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I just need a few moments to get into character. What do you mean, “Fairy would make a good Goblin”? I heard that Monty?

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We are PRETEND ghosts, aren’t we? Just double checking. I knew that.

Right – lets get treat collecting – errr I mean scaring!

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Whoooooo . . . . and whoooooooooooooooooo some more . . . .

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MUM . . . . DAAAD! ANYONE! Even Marigold and Mariella . . . . HEEEEELP!

There are genuine, real ghosts everywhere. Get lots of those tasty treats that I like a lot, to make them go away!

Whoooooooooooo . . .  quick – hurry up with those treats. Lettuce and things, especially things. They should help reduce the scarinessability. Don’t be frightened, now, bring ‘em on and be extra quick about it, please.

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I bet you were all really frightened! Don’t worry – I was only pretending to be scary. I am still the ever popular furry bundle of cuteness you all know and love. But if I didn’t get my treats I was fully prepared to UNLEASH HELL – or even my TEETH.

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If Mummy and Daddy hadn’t piled my special pumpkin pie-dish with sufficient yumminess – I was going to get Mariella to sing! Now THAT would have been scary.

Looks like the greedy mouses have eaten far too many of their treats already!

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You know, some people really think there ARE real ghosts out there – me? I don’t believe a word of it . . .

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. . . but sometimes, if I squint my eyes and peer sideways, I think I CAN see ghosty guineas . . . one thing is for sure, they are NOT getting MY treats! The very idea!

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What a spectacularly successful Halloween we had! All that scareyfying and treat nibbling has made me hungry!

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Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid . . . .

Coming sooooooon

Fairy Discovers Some Smugglers!

Hummph! Has my super sized, snuggly SMUGG boot shrunk? I can’t seem to get in to it properly.

Just a minute, there are some kind of furry obstruction type things getting in my way. Fearless Fairy will have to investigate – gulp!

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Oh I might have known – a pair of Mousies!

What on earth were you two up to in MY boot? Be very careful before you reply – this is a Fairy Family Friendly Blog!

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Oh I see, you were out for a walk and got tired and needed somewhere cosy to lay your pointy little heads.

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Hummph again – very likely – I don’t think!

Well you can jolly well extricate yourselves from out of my boot and be quick about it. I am overdue my pre-pre-pre-tea snuggly snooze.

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Pfhoof! I still can’t seem to fit properly . . . there’s something else . . . uff . . . lumpy and very furry . . . stuck back here . . .

If I am not out in five seconds flat, shout for MUMMY!!!!

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Minty and Monty! OUT you come!

Well, well, well! What the dickens? This isn’t some public meeting boot you know. The cheek of it! Don’t you have a posh Cheese House to go to?

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You can all jolly well sit out here and make extra sure no one else creeps in to disturb my snooze.

Right then, I am going for my little . . . Oh no – not more obstructions!

WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?

This one’s got ears – very little EARS! And it has lots of them – EEEEEK!!!!

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Aaaaaagh – there’s a herd of them!

Come on. OUT, you furry, squeaky road blocks!

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I might have known – it’s those Pesky Baby Mices!

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Look here Baby Mabel, it’s no good you giggling like that – it’s not that funny!

And you, Marmaduke, stop all that rolling about on the floor – you’ll wear the carpet out!

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Right mice type persons, sit nicely and entertain yourselves for 5 hours or so.

It is definitely time for my NAP!

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Petunia! What ARE you doing up there? You, you . . .

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Oh you are going to watch over me and keep my dreams sweet and lovely and full of beautiful golden sunshine, type stuff.

Oh – how sweet! It is really difficult to be grumpy when they are so adoring.

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Okay, here’s the plan. You mices have a lovely family snooze  – over there, while I try to get some peace and quiet in my boot.

Right then, that’s that sorted. Night, night. Yawn.

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Oh my goodness – What NOW????

NO! No you jolly well can’t keep me company and check I am all tucked-in and warm and cosy and . . .

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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZ

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Mine’s A Sweetcorn Leaf!

I know what you are thinking – how could Fairy possibly leave all that spare lovely bright shiny sweet corn leaf treasure behind?

Well – she didn’t! Just after the last photo was taken . . .

Mummy – can you come quickly? Oh, and bring lots of carrier bags with you please!

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A few hours later, back home all safe and sound . . . . .

Settle down now, and I’ll read you a bedtime story.

Once upon a time there were three little mice . . . and a lovely Piggy Auntie called Fairy . . .

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Good  that did the trick – they have all drifted off to the land of nod.

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It was such a jolly good thing Mummy brought all the Sweet Corn Leaves home from the famous Sweetcorn Leaf Mine. I like to have a little snack just before retiring, and just in case I wake-up during the night, and just in case I might wake-up again during the night, and . . .

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And there’s even some left for breakfast! Woo hoo!

Goodness me – yesterday was the best day ever! It was a champion day!

Time for . . . nom . . . nom . . . sleeps zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZ

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Fairy Gets More Treasures Than She Bargained For!

Nanny Fairy here people, my good works and kindnesses to bestow.

Minty and Monty wanted a quiet day out together today, probably to get me a big prize or plan a huge surprise party for me or something of that me-centred nature. I, of course, volunteered to look after all the baby mices for them. Such a selfless little treasure I am!

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Hello there Marmaduke, Mabel and Petunia. How lovely for you to have me to look after you today.

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Right you three, lets be ‘aving you. Are you all sitting comfortably? Hold tight. We are off for a quiet genteel stroll around the garden on this beautiful sunshiny day, in your beautiful new shiny pram.

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Mummy, we are going to set off now mummy. We won’t be too long, Mummy. You might want to prepare some restorative sustenance for when we get back. I will be very much in need of it because I will be doing all the hard work type things in the hot sun, pushing this great big heavy pram and everything.

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Chocks away! Oh! Hang on . . . I will need a quick energy boost before we move off.

Now where did I put that secret stash of grass? Looks like you are sitting on it, Marmaduke, hotch over.

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Yum, yum. Now, you three can sit there patiently and admire a virtuoso display of piggy formation nibbling and at the same time get a free maths lesson.

Munch, 2, 3, 4. Chew, 2, 3, 4 . . . and what comes next, Petunia? Yep, swallow! Gulp 2, 3, 4 . . .

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That was just the ticket. Right, brace yourselves – time to launch this show on the road.

Just a cotton pickin’ minute – what’s that up ahead?

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It can’t be, can it? It looks like it could be . . . I can’t believe it – we might have stumbled across a mythical, fantastical, storybook type treasure, beyond the wildest dreams of piggy avarice. . . A Sweet Corn Leaf Mine!!!!

Corn drying

Whoooooooah! Look! By ginger! It is!

STOP! EVERYBODY OUT!!!!

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Goodness – this looks like a very picturesque picnic spot. Let’s just sit and eat the scenery for a while.

Nomm, nomm, burp – pardon! Nomm, nomm . . .

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We can’t possibly leave all this yummy stuff here to go to waste . . .

I know, let’s pile as much as we can into the perambulator.

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I had better sit up here and make sure nothing falls overboard.

Come on then mices – heave ho. Let’s make tracks for home.

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Put those little mousey backs into it. Puuuuuuush!

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Hummph, we don’t seem to be getting very far. Are you all trying?

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What’s that, Mabel? One of the wheels has sunk into the gravel?

Well, if you had pushed a little harder, and complained a little less . . .

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MUMMMYY – HELP – WE’RE STUCK! Ring the breakdown man, quick. We will need an extra big, strong tow truck!

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No need to panic – I have it all fixed and fettled.

There was nothing for it – I lightened the load – by eating all those yummy leaves!

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We haven’t heard the end of the soon to be legendary Sweet Corn Leaf Mine saga, no doubt . . .