Fairy’s Pig-manay Celebrations!

By Mildred on 31/12/2013

Hello there my loyal and lovely piggy pals. I am delighted you could join us. Today is a very special day in Fairyland. Not only is it New Year’s Eve, but tonight it is also Pixie and Bears’ first ever ‘proper’ hootennany type party – with fancy drinks and nibbles and discovating and guests and, and, and everything. Wooooo hoooooooo!

Hold very tight girls – fun city here we come. Toot, toot.

Woweeeee, we’ve landed.

Looks like the party is in full swing. Well if it isn’t, it very soon will be now I’m here!

Make way, party Fairy your favourite frippet and her chums, coming through.

Off you go and circulate girls – I’ll just go nip and powder my nose and whiskers and apologise for all your bad behavior in advance.

Monty and Minty Mouse are on their usual best behaviour I see (boring!!!).

Seems to me that this here party needs a plentiful dollop of Fairy Magic to really get things going.

You’re looking more jolloped than ever Bear – do your world famous Fat Boy Fatter impression and spin a few of them there discs pronto like.

Let’s see, ‘Teddy Bears’ Pignic’ anyone?

How about, ‘One, Two, Three O’Clock, Four O’Clock Munch’?

Enough of that malarkey – let’s play a game that fubbery Fairy always wins – Pass the Parcel.

Bear has gone under cover. Either that or she’s doing her world famous impression of a Wrapper!

I saw it first Pixie, let go – it’s MY cucumber. You go and find your own game to cheat at.

That’s it – off you go and play Tiddly Winks with Mr Bear.

Well, it would appear Mr Bear is Tiddly – so these must be the Winks.

Ughhh – not very tasty are they?

I declare Pixie the winner! Looks like it’s gone to her head!

I’m getting a teeny weenie bit starving. Who’s in charge of the catering around here?

Yes, I know you prefer a ‘liquid’ lunch, tea, dinner and supper Mr Bear, but some of us need to keep our strength up. When do we eat?

Oh you made us some canapigs? Brilliant. What-ya-got!

Hummmm – non dried tomatoes atop carrots-au-discs, some super little grape-crostini bites on beetroot sticks and those mini celery nibblettes!

Oh, is that all there is?

Wait for it Bear, you know the rules – Fairy goes first!

Oh yes, this is more like it. Nom, nom, nom.

Patience Pixie and Bear. Sorry, but you are both in the second sitting.

Oooooh, hang on a minute – it’s nearly midnight!!!!!

Countdown to midnight – 10, 8, 3, 2, 7, 2 9 – HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

All join paws and sing Auld Lang Syne. No, I don’t know what it means either.

Here comes the Bells – not to mention Mr Bear’s other special guests Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Glen Ffidich!

It’s time to refill our glasses . . . . What’s that Mr Bear? – ‘You don’t mind if you do’? No surprises there then!

Mind you, Bear is on her second bottle of nourishing carrot juice – what a good girl.

In the absence of sustenance, we may as well eat the tinsel.

Ooor Pixie – why is the room starting to spin?

Sniff, sniff, poooooofh – Mr Bear! That wasn’t carrot juice. You’ve been leading Bear astray! As if she wasn’t bad enough sober!!!

Time to make her excuses and take her home before she gets even more unnecessary than usual.

Come on girls, hold very tight please – off we go. And don’t go nibbling my prize cucumber on the way.

Hummmph – I always think that no matter how far you wander, there really is ‘no place like Fairyland’.

Have a super, safe and cuddly New Year everyone wherever you may be – here, there and everywhere the whole world over x x x

Toot, toot, TOOOOOT!

 

 

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Fairy Goes A-carrolling!

By Mildred on 24/12/2013

It would appear that The Big Day is nearly upon us – the time when all good little piggies get lots of extra cuddles and lots of love. Much like any other day then! However, there is a catch to this Big Day. Mummy says, that for no good reason I can see, we have to carry out a family tradition  and ‘sing for our supper’.

Our Mousie friends are the perfect captive audience in their festively decorated Mouse House. So, with the errr ‘assistance’ of Pixie and Bear, here goes . . .

‘Ding dong piggywigs on high’ – No, no, no – you’re singing flat Bear. Let’s try another carol.

‘We three pigs of’ – No, no, no! Sound as if you mean it Pixie. Another!

‘O come all ye piggies, joyful and pop-corn-ing’. NO!
Not that one . . . this one. It goes something like this:

 

‘I saw three pigs and mousies too

Eating lots of salad stew

Oh what a very odd to do,

On Christmas Eve, in the morning.

 

Oh, here we come a-pop-corn-ing,

Among the salad leaves so green;

Oh, here we come a-pop-corn-ing,

On Christmas Eve, in the morning’.

 

Hummmph, probably could do with a tiny, little bit of polishing!

Right, after me, from the top, give it everything, big breath in, sing from your diagram, and other musical type instructions and what have you.

Errr Pixie, while Fairy waves her baton about in an ever more frenetically random circles, let’s go see what Mr Bear has been up to?

Looks suspiciously like it might be Sherry Time!

Sniff, sniff. Oh no! Just as I suspected. As if it wasn’t bad enough having one secret Sherry slurper around here – looks like he’s got company.

Ooooer – my head hurts. And why is everything starting to spin?

Mr Bear has the right idea – time to go horizontal!

Oh goodness gracious. Where on earth has that pesky pawed Pixie got to I ask myself?

Ooooof, splutter, splutter, spluff. Pixie – enough of your unseemly drunk and disorderly type behavior, thank you very much!

Thank goodness everything gets back to normal tomorrow!!!!

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A Right Royal Occasion!

By Mildred on 23/03/2013

Hello my darlings. I wonder what unalloyed joys today has in store for me?

Oh yes, I remember – I am off to The Palace for an audience with some major Royals. How jolly nice for them!

 

Good day, ma’am, your ladyship, Princess Anastasia Teacake. Nice place you have here.

When do we eat?

Oh and Crown Prince Roland Butter too! Delighted I’m sure.

Wow – now that’s what I call a cucumber sandwich – i’m going to like it here.

Umm, Anastasia my love, I rather thought we were supposed to be the big wigs round here. Shouldn’t Fairy be curtseying or bowing or at least saving something for us to eat?

Now see here Crown Prince Rowland Butter or whatever your name is, let’s get something straight shall we? Fairy is The Boss and when she is hungry, she eats. Is that clear? Good! Now isn’t it time to introduce me to The Minor Royals? They might want to give me a lovely present or two!

Prince Macca Roon and Princess Victoria Sponge! How sweeeeeeet! That really takes the cake. Sounds like they were named by Marie Antoinette!

I’m reminded of the excellent advice about having your cake and eating some salad – or something equally perplexing but vaguely food related. Time for a smackerel!

Hummph – as you all know, I’m not one to complain, but if this is supposed to be tea, I might just start!

Oh well, might as well clear the plates – waste not, want . . . a bit more!

Well, that was very, err, dainty.

Oh, you are expecting a happy event your Princesship? Humm – could be another snack perhaps?

A special delivery! This must be it – Yum.

Oh goodness me – it was ‘THAT’ sort of happy event!

More mouths to feed, oh dear.

They are adorable, I suppose.

You invited me here for a special reason, your Princeship? Do tell?

You want me to be the ‘Fairy Godmummy’ to Princlet Rolly Polly and Princesslet Sue Flae?

Oh, what a lovely surprise. I am delighted to accept.

 

I was going to suggest we celebrate the happy event with a jolly good slap-up feed. But, it looks like I’m going to need to call up some reinforcements.

Where are Bear and Pixie when I need them?

I knew that!

Fairy always insists that she is accompanied by her special emergency reserve salad supply, when out and about onmanoeuvres, Pixie.

Looks like we were just in time then, Bear! I can’t spot a single spare lettuce.

Right everybody – you all look pretty while I tidy away this messy salad.

Perfect end to a perfect right royal day – burp – pardon!

 

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Fairy Welcomes A New Princess!

By Mildred on 28/02/2013

Greetings my loyal and faithful followers.

We have an extra special cause to celebrate today – apparently. Not only has mummy presented me with a rather splendid vase of smelly and totally inedible flowers (no – I don’t know why either), but we have a visit from a right royal official celebrity type mousie – oh bliss!

Now then me ducks – how’s tricks and errr, who are you anyway?

 

Princess Anastasia? Never heard of you – when do we eat?

Oh I see, you are actually really important because everybody says so and anyway you’ve got a very smart crown thingy.

 

Call that a crown? I have my very own integral fur crown that is far, far posher and all white and cute and everything!

 

Now we have got that all sorted out it’s time for our official portrait. Say ‘Sherry’ Mr Bear.

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Oh We Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside – The Finale!

By Mildred on 03/08/2012

Following a particularly vigorous and rumbustious game of Pirates, peace and tranquility has returned to our holiday idyll.

Although with a certain young lady in attendance, albeit briefly.

 

Oh yes, this all looks very pleasant. I particularly like Marigold’s new bikini. Very fetching indeed.

 

Enough of all this indolence. It’s high time to resume my salad snacking.

 

Waaaah Mummmmmy! No salad!!!!

I’m sure I left my tasty pignic around here somewhere

 

I did, I did, I DID! It was right HERE.

 

Right – you pesky mousie types. WHERE’S MY SALAD?????

 

No one plays fast and loose with my grub without there being major repercussions.

Best talk fast, Mousies, the tide is coming in.

 

Whaddya mean – cruelty to Mousies?!

Do you really think Sir Plantagenet Big Mouse would let them come to any harm?!

 

Oh, I ate it all up did I? I knew that. I was just, err, just checking.

Ahhhmmm – moving swiftly on . . .

 

Wow Buster – you’ve found a lovely cool rock pool. That does look very inviting.

 

Hummph – Mummy usually gives me a helping hand in these tricky getting in to water situations.

 

Buster – you should be looking away when a Lady is getting in to her bath, don’t you know.

 

Gently does it. Smashing!

 

There we are – nothing to it. What was all that fuss about?

 

I hope I don’t have to have a nail trim too!

 

Muuuuuummmmmy – get me out of here NOW – I need a wee!

 

Just time for a vigorous rub down.

What’s that awful noise? Oh NO – The Rev Mr Bear is having a sing song.

 

That was fun. Time for another relax.

 

What’s that Angela ‘Fairy’ Mouse? You want a memento of our super Holiday.

 

Well here’s a perfect way to remember our perfect holiday.

Everyone say ‘SALAD’!

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Oh, We Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside – Episode 2

By Mildred on 25/07/2012

Meanwhile – back at the beach.

 

SQUEAK – Sssssh, keep the noise down chaps and chapesses. We don’t want to rouse the ‘sleeping beauty’ from her slumbers just yet, do we?

 

Asleep? Moi? Oh no . . . I was just resting my eyes a bit.

 

Now where was I? Oh yes, time for some organised Fairy-Fun and games.

 

The Rev Mr Bear wins the ‘Deckchair sitting-on’ competition with another personal best.

 

Well, that’s enough ‘fun and games’ malarkey for the moment – it’s time for a huge slap-up pignic. Hope it’s not sand-wiches!

 

‘Tis a well known fact . . . munch . . . that food tastes even better when . . . chomp . . . eaten out of doors.

 

Hummmph – just a moment, is this all there is? I thought Mummy was joking when she mentioned the ‘diet’ word. Looks like a case of Salad Distribution Malfunction to me.

 

Goodness that was close – watch-out for low flying seagulls everyone!

 

Excuse me Primrose ma’am – you couldn’t send one of your flunky type mousies to the nearest ‘All things Bright & Munchable’ Food Emporium for a hearty top-up or two could you?

 

The main problem with all this jolly holiday spirit is that people loose all their inhibitions and begin to act out of character. Not that you would notice any differences in Monty and Minty, hehe!

 

Marigold!!!!! Put the Rev Mr Bear’s sherry down. Oh you already have!

 

Right, that’s it! Time for a little ‘Life on the Ocean Wave’ type activity to take everyone’s mind off the Sherry.

 

Yes Sir, I do appreciate that it might be a little futile in the Rev Mr Bear’s case.

 

Luckily his recovery rate is very rapid these days.

 

Woo Hoo – ‘We are sailing. We are sailing . . .’

 

. . . and the winner of the ‘Most Mousies crammed into a boat Award’ goes to . . .

 

MEEEEE! Well, who do you think stuffed them all in there?

 

Budge-up Marigold – time to play Pirates.

Avast m’hearties, shivver m’timbers, standby to board and other swashbuckling type utterances.

 

SQUEAK – while Fairy tries to make Marigold walk the plank – we’re taking Mr Bear to the Sherry Shop for a swift top-up.

 

Episode 3, The Finale, is HERE!

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Oh, We Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside!

By Mildred on 17/07/2012

SQUEEK – Oh this is the life. A holiday by the sea. Peace, perfect peace. Nothing to do but relax, lots of lovely sun and no one to boss us about. What could possibly disturb this idyllic tranquillity?

 

Yoo hooooo – Mousies, don’t panic, your beloved Fairy is here.

This looks just the spot to li-lo for a while.

 

SQUEAK – Oh well, it was good while it lasted. They do say ‘Life’s a Beach’!

Looks like our holiday just started to get ‘interesting’.

 

What’s all this then? Oh no, no, no. We can’t have itsy bitsy little undersized sand pies cluttering-up the beach now can we?

 

Right, everyone pay attention and everything. There has been far too much slacking going on.

 

And, more importantly, it has come to my notice that the sand pies on this here beach are far too small.

If we are going to win the inaugural Fairy’s Biggest Sand Castle on the Beach competition, there will need to be some changes.

 

SQUEAK – well this one looks plenty big enough to me – I can hardly see over it.

 

SQUEAK – resistance is futile!

When Fairy has a ‘Big Idea”, it’s a lot quicker and certainly an awful lot quieter, just to let her get on with it.

 

Hummmph – very artistic, but we need it to be much, much, MUCH bigger!

 

Goodness, that was quick. Better, but still not quite the ticket.

 

Oh I see the problem here. You can’t reach up any higher.

 

Well luckily for you, Sir Plantagenet Big-Mouse is here to lend his mighty paw.

 

Oh I do hope he gets a move on – it must be nearly snack time.

 

Finished? Brilliant! About time too.

 

It was lucky I had arranged for Sir Plantagenet Big-Mouse and Primrose to show you the way.

And now it’s time for the grand prize giving ceremony.

 

Ahem – it gives one great pleasure to declare ME the winner of the highly prestigious Fairy’s . . .

 

Ooooh – what’s this bit for?

 

Obviously I really do know of course – just checking that you are on the ball young Buster m’lad.

 

Ah yes – clearly, it is a super duper, 5 star luxury extra-cosy beach apartment Sand Castle for entertaining A-List celebrities.

 

You can all carry on doing whatever I might require you to be doing – and be quick about it.

 

I’ll just rest my eyes for a few min . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

SQUEAK – phew, that worked jolly well. Let’s enjoy a bit of peace, while it lasts.

Give us a kiss!

Don’t miss ‘Oh, We Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside, Episode 2‘

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Fairy Packs It In!

By Mildred on 01/07/2012

Right then my adoring fans, after weeks of eager anticipation it’s time to put aside all those brochures and for Mr Bear and me to set off on our jolly holidays.

There’s just the small matter of the packing left to do.

 

So Mr Bear, I hope you have been following my carefully written instructions to the letter?

 

I have been rushing about all day getting my things together. What precisely have you got ready?

 

Oh – just the Bear Essentials?!! I might have known!!

 

Actually I didn’t really have to do all that much running around – my willing army of Mousie helpers have been a little less pesky than usual today. They got all my everythings ready while I had a light snack and a snooze, and another not quite so light snack and a snooze and . . .

 

So let’s see how well they have done.

 

Glad they remembered the chairs – you never know when you might need a nice sit down and a cuppa.

 

I’ll just check there’s sufficient beds – 1, 5, 17, 8, 23 – Oh yes, that seems just about perfect.

 

Deckchair, spare blankie, emergency wheeled cart with integral helping hand device . . .

 

Steam Iron, to keep my fur coats all smooth and crease free . . . tra, la, laaaaa.

 

That all looks to be in order. Well done me. I simply need to pack everything into this capacious traveling portmanteau, then, it’s off we go.

 

What? Why are you all looking at me like that?

 

No problem with the packing. All you need is a little bit of Fairy Magic.

 

Hold tight Mr Bear – oh do leave those Duty Frees alone – we’re off!

Keep a look out for my Holiday Postcards.

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Happy Three-Day!

By Mildred on 11/06/2012

Greetings my loyal friends and followers. It’s here! The day you have all been looking forward to for simply ages, is HERE!

I am THREE today! Yippee and everything. Yes, I am all big and grown up now.

I can’t believe my eyes, a jolly big party has been laid on for little ol’ me, and there’s bunting and, Mousies and, and everything . . . can’t spot the snackettes yet, but I am sure they will be some tasty morsels somewhere.

I’d better go mingle, meet some guests and what have you.

Hello, Mr Bear, fancy seeing you here. Is that your first glass of sherry today? Oh, it’s your third is it? Better make it your last, we don’t want any ‘unpleasantness’ now do we?

Time to check out my Birthday Cards . . . this one is from Mummy and Daddy and Marigold, and it’s a perfect fit!

And this one . . . it has a lot of very flattering words inside . . . can’t quite make them out, but . . .

. . . it is definitely for me. Look, it’s got my name all over the front. Nice bear pic too. A very nice SOBER bear!

Are we having party games? Hunt the Lettuce? No? Not much of a party, is it?

Oh . . . there’s a PRESENT? For ME? Thank you Mousies, this is such a WONDERFUL party!

I LOVE IT! All purple and a jolly nice place to sit and have a well deserved rest.

I am not usually one to complain, but it is actually a bit hard and crispy crunchy.

Oh! I see. My real present was hiding inside that integral, disposable seat cover arrangement.

It’s a jolly nice bed fitted with ladybirds and the best bit is it is pink with more pink all over.

Was that the dinner gong?

Hooray, this looks more like it, an itty-bitty salad hamper, if I am not mistaken!

Oh Mr Bear, that glass looks suspiciously on the empty side.

And a super bouquet of grass for . . . nom . . . . me? Nom, it is very nom nom nom nice, thank you, daddy – very tasteful.

Can someone come and cart Mr Bear off to bed please? He has ‘overindulged’ again.

Too late – he had better stay here and sleep it off.

It is traditional to have special Birthday Scritchy-Scratches. I’ll have the full three minutes worth please, seeing as I am three today.

All this hectic partying has made me rather sleepy . . . I’ll just double check this new bed for . . .

Zzzzzzz

 

6 hours later . . . .

Marigold, guess what? Seeing as how you overslept and missed my big Birthday Bash, we will have another one – EVERY day of the year!

Tralala!

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Jolly Boating Weather, ma’am!

By Mildred on 03/06/2012

Greetings my loyal subjects.

Apparently there are lots of Street Parties and everything in the UK today –  are Roads and Motorways invited too?

There is also a huge flotilla of boats type pageant extravaganza going on down the River Thames in London town.

All this festivity must be to do with MY upcoming Birthday. But all is not well. HRH The Queen and Prince Philip were invited on to my luxurious Barge to view proceedings and I can’t see them anywhere.

Oh I see – how thoughtful of Her Majesty – she didn’t want me to think she was muscling-in on ones big day.

As if anyone could outshine Fairy indeed? The very idea! She isn’t even wearing a proper crown.

Phew – all this pageantry is very hungry making – now who said something about there being cucumber sandwiches?

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Howdy, Folks!

By Mildred on 25/03/2012

Hummmph – either someone has tidied away the view (Mummy), or someone is trying to sneak up on me.

Funnily enough, I have spotted the odd couple of strange ears on the horizon lately.

Marigold, have you spotted any stranger than usual going on type things in the ‘strange ears on the horizon’ department recently?

No? Oh well, never mind. Nice hat by the way.

Humm – now what can this ropey looking appliance be? Sorry to string you along, but it’s time for my daily stroll on the lawn.

Oh goody – there looks to be a tasty treat trap – fine grass and tomatoes – my favourite.

And a jolly useful piece of rope too. I wonder what’s on the other end.

Oh, it’s just a couple of strange ears on the horizon, with a couple of mousie types attached.

SQUEAK-SQUEAK – Howdy, darn tooting pardner!

I’m Roger Roy and this is my Lass, Sue. I work in the Wild West Bank as The Lone Arranger.

Marigold! I told you a couple of strangers just drifted in to town.

Looks like we may need to call on the services of General Custard – we are surrounded by red skins!

Yes I know that was a bit wheek, but I couldn’t resist it! And now . . . back to the story . . .

Okay you two no good, low down hombres – go for your Bun.

Waddah ya mean – which one is ‘Ugly’?!

Now then my little Amigo’s, what is this Wild West malarkey all about?

I like the dressing-up bit – very ME, don’t you think?

Oh, it’s a Lasso is it? I knew that.

Would you like to see my Clint Eastwood impression, Sue?

When a Piggy with a Tasty leaf, meets a Mousie with a Lasso – the Piggy with the Tasty Leaf is me. Or anyway, something equally profound, oblique and suitably tough sounding.

I like the sitting around the campfire telling stories about how great darn tootin’ I am too.

Errr Muuum!

Enough of this sitting around – it’s time to round-up that thar posse and go rustle up some salad.

Adios, folks!

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The Mousies Find Fairyland!

By Mildred on 04/03/2012

The endlessly interesting thing about being surrounded by lots and lots of pesky mousie type babes is – they are very inquisitive critters who are always asking lots of deep and meaningful questions. Mostly concerning cheese it must be said, but occasionally something a little more profound. This morning I was visited by a very earnest young mousie, called Ernest.

Morning Ernest – what’s that? You want to know where Fairyland is? Oh my, this could take some time! Gather all your friends together and we’ll organise a search party.

Now then settle down everywhere and do try to sit still. All your excited whizzing about is making my head go all puffly! Young Ernest here wants to know where Fairyland is and so today we are all going to find out.

First of all, you will need to seek advice and guidence from the Great Piggy from On High – Big Winnie.

Right, you stay here all safe and sound while I, at great personal risk and inconvenience, go and ask Big Winnie the way . . . . . .

Goodness – it does look a very, very long way up there – I might need a little err, help.

Thanks Daddy, now where was I? Oh yes – I call upon you Big Winnie and your boundless insights and wisdom, to help us with our quest.

What was that? We must all be potty??!!!

The Mousies have their first clue and so are quickly scampering off to search diligently among the multitude of fancy pots on Mummy’s kitchen shelves.

Hummm – Fairyland might well be there – but it might also be . . .

Found in a surprise card from a much loved friend. Or . . .

wrapped up tight in your cosiest of dreams.

But this isn’t helping the Mousies now is it – where have they got to I wonder?

The Store Cupboard!

Any signs of Fairyland in here? No? Well perhaps you are looking in the wrong place.

Fairyland must be very, very BIG. It won’t all fit in a cupboard – perhaps you had all better go look for it outside in the wide open spaces of the garden.

I’ll have a quick look in the fridge and check among the contents of the salad drawer while you go see.

SQUEAK – Gosh this looking everywhere is brilliant fun.

SQUEAK – I bet this cave is the entrance to Fairyland – after you!

SQUEAK – Everyone know’s magical things happen inside an egg – so it must be in this nesting-box here!

Humph – nothing!!! Let’s go back inside and pester Auntie Fairy for the answer.

Oh, I see, you searched everywhere, inside and out and still couldn’t find it?

Well my little Quester Mousies – the answer was here all the time!

Fairyland is everywhere!

You just need to believe in magic, share you goodness and love and hey presto – it’s there! Even more importantly – so are you.

And at this precise moment, Fairyland is due to be found in my scritches and a very large snackette. Giddy-up Daddy!

See you soon XXX

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