Greetings my people.
Fairy here, your very own Plutocratic type business mogul. Welcome to my Extraordinfairy Emergency General and Very Important Meeting. I held a big vote before you all arrived and you will doubtless be relieved to hear that I was elected Chair-Fairy – unanimously.
So, let’s get straight on with things and let’s not get sidetracked by irritating interruptions, irrelevant ramblings and boring bits – just like in Daddy’s big meetings! I declare this Meeting duly convened.
It gives me great pleasure, (well when I say ‘pleasure’, I don’t mean as much pleasure as a huge bowl of fresh lettuce of course, but anyway . . . ) to welcome to the table The Mouse Committee, and Mr Bear, my personal assistant and ‘chef de mission’.
Order, order . . . I said ORDER!
No Monty, you can’t have a double cheese with extra cheese on the side!
It’s time to sit round the bread-boardroom table, keep quiet and all listen attentively to me.
Hay! COME ON, settle down over there – don’t make me SHOUT!
Thank you. That’s much better.
Ladies, gentlemen, Mice, viewers, Mr Bear . . . according to my Big Book of Holding Important Meetings, we are here to discuss . . . err . . . the Principal Objective . . . the err . . . Constitution and things of that ilk.
Well, it does sound very good, impressive and everything. But goodness knows what it is supposed to mean?
Do you have any ideas Peregrine? Pandora? Thought not – too busy miss-describing houses for sale in your capacity of Estate Agent.
I’m listening . . . yes, errum, yes, I quite agree . . . you are probably right, Montmorency, it might well mean ‘Get on with it!’
Before we get to the main reason for convening this meeting, a quick ‘Point of Order’.
Mr Bear, it has been debated at length, in top secret talks, and my vote has been cast according to proper procedure. The motion has thereby been duly carried that your HAT is not suitable attire because it is all extremely bad taste.
Oh, I see – it’s stuck! Well serve you right for keeping sticky marmalade sandwich snacks under it!
Before we go any further, Mabel has requested a comfort break. All those in favour say . . . oh I can’t wait for all that nonsense, I’ll just help myself to another crafty snack or three.
nom . . . . nomnomnom . . . NOM. Nice spread, Mr Bear.
And now we . . . . ORDER, I said ORDER!
Let’s get all focussed now – I would like to announce the reason for convening this meeting – right NOW!
I have some beautifully crafted visual aids that will help make everything clear. Yes Minty, I might well look smug!
If I can just draw your collective attentions to this cart full of demonstratables.
Oi – get your nosy mousy whiskers out of there pronto. It had slipped my mind just what a pesky set of Mice you are.
What do we have here? Oh yes, very good, these are just the job.
See – a perfectly produced selection of extra tasty medals! No doubt I will be accumulating plenty of those in the not too distant future – wink, wink, hint type clue.
It’s in the can! Look, the envelope that contains the very expensive, professionally designed logo for my wonderful new venture. All will be revealed, in just a moment.
It’s got MY name on it and everything.
Do sit still will you? All that jiffling about is making me peckish . . . maybe there’s time for another quick snack.
‘Get on with it’? Oh, alright, Peregrine.
Ahem – I can now reveal my very Important News.
It gives me great pleasure to announce The OLYMPIG GAMES 2012 are to be held HERE, in Fairy-Land next summer – and you are all invited to compete!
We thought it would be a Good Idea to give you plenty of time to get into training. I know some of you more indolent types will need all the help you can get, not mentioning any names, Mariella.
I have already drawn up a big list of events I am likely to win, including The Back Stroke (put me down for the Sweetcorn Gold Medal), The Stretchiest Pig (ditto), Widest Yawn, Tidiest Teeth, Cross Country (a trot round the grass), The Hay-Tossing Championships, The Pop, Skip and Jump, Relay Zoomies and what not.
If you would like to propose some more events then let me know.
Thank you everyone for attending, Mr Bear for taking the Minutes (it took him hours), Regiane’s-Logo’s-While-U-Wait-Service for our smashing Olympigs Logo, The Olympig Committee Mouses for their squeakiness and for YOU, my devoted public, for . . . well, making it all worthwhile.
This meeting is adjourned until the next one.
THANK YOU! You can bring on the snacks now, Mr Bear.