Monthly Archives: November 2011

‘Tis The Season . . .

Oh come all ye faithful, tra la – friends, new callers here for the very first time (and what took you so long, may I ask?) and my best, most Important New Best Friend,  Raj Mahal.

It is time to ready ourselves for that special time of the year once again. The day will soon be upon us when we drag a jolly little unsuspecting tree into the glamorous world of Fairy-Land and adorn its branches with twinkly lights and baubles. When the fridge will be full to bursting with shelves groaning under the weight of fresh salad and vegetable treats of the finest kind. Actually, come to think of it, no real change there. Anyway, where was I . . . and when we hang up our stockings knowing they will be filled to over flowing with a veritable cornucopia of piggy-treats.

Before all that malarkey though, I need to raid the jolly old piggy-bank.

I’ve been saving my fur-pocket money all year, depositing it for safe keeping under the watchful and Scrooge like eye of Mr Bear.

Mummmmmmmmy! Can someone come and give me a paw with this piggy-bank type thingy, please?

It’s all change!

I bet there will be a jolly tidy sum when we get it all added up – bring on the calculator Mr Santa Bear, looks like we are going to need it.


Lets see, what have we here then, 20p + 17p + £1.62 + err, about £32.01 that’s hummph . . . LOTS!!!!

Well that didn’t take too long, did it?

I am a very lucky little Piggy and have everything I need. And so do Marigold and Mariella.

This Christmas I want to try to make extra sure other less fortunate Piggies have a good life too. I’m going to send all my savings to Piggy Rescues.

If you’ve enjoyed my Stories and Tales this year, please don’t be sending me any presents or any such like, I would much rather that you too send a donation to help those Piggies that really need it. After all – that’s what Christmas Fairies are for.

Splish-Splash! I’m Having A Bath!

I’m A Gorgeous Guinea!

My new Gorgeous Guineas shampoo has arrived just in time for tomorrow’s communal bath.

Am I REALLY going to have a bath with Marigold AND Mariella, Mum? Good job we have a BIG BATH is all I can say.

A Very Important Meeting!

Greetings my people.

Fairy here, your very own Plutocratic type business mogul. Welcome to my Extraordinfairy Emergency General and Very Important Meeting. I held a big vote before you all arrived and you will doubtless be relieved to hear that I was elected Chair-Fairy – unanimously.

So, let’s get straight on with things and let’s not get sidetracked by irritating interruptions, irrelevant ramblings and boring bits – just like in Daddy’s big meetings! I declare this Meeting duly convened.

It gives me great pleasure, (well when I say ‘pleasure’, I don’t mean as much pleasure as a huge bowl of fresh lettuce of course, but anyway . . . ) to welcome to the table The Mouse Committee, and Mr Bear, my personal assistant and ‘chef de mission’.

Order, order . . . I said ORDER!
No Monty, you can’t have a double cheese with extra cheese on the side!
It’s time to sit round the bread-boardroom table, keep quiet and all listen attentively to me.

Hay! COME ON, settle down over there – don’t make me SHOUT!

Thank you. That’s much better.
Ladies, gentlemen, Mice, viewers, Mr Bear . . . according to my Big Book of Holding Important Meetings, we are here to discuss . . . err . . . the Principal Objective . . . the err . . . Constitution and things of that ilk.

Well, it does sound very good, impressive and everything. But goodness knows what it is supposed to mean?

Do you have any ideas Peregrine? Pandora? Thought not – too busy miss-describing houses for sale in your capacity of Estate Agent.

I’m listening . . . yes, errum, yes, I quite agree . . . you are probably right, Montmorency, it might well mean ‘Get on with it!’

Before we get to the main reason for convening this meeting, a quick ‘Point of Order’.

Mr Bear, it has been debated at length, in top secret talks, and my vote has been cast according to proper procedure. The motion has thereby been duly carried that your HAT is not suitable attire because it is all extremely bad taste.

Oh, I see – it’s stuck! Well serve you right for keeping sticky marmalade sandwich snacks under it!

Before we go any further, Mabel has requested a comfort break. All those in favour say . . . oh I can’t wait for all that nonsense, I’ll just help myself to another crafty snack or three.

nom . . . . nomnomnom . . . NOM. Nice spread, Mr Bear.

And now we . . . . ORDER, I said ORDER!
Let’s get all focussed now – I would like to announce the reason for convening this meeting – right NOW!

I have some beautifully crafted visual aids that will help make everything clear. Yes Minty, I might well look smug!

If I can just draw your collective attentions to this cart full of demonstratables.

Oi – get your nosy mousy whiskers out of there pronto. It had slipped my mind just what a pesky set of Mice you are.

What do we have here? Oh yes, very good, these are just the job.

See – a perfectly produced selection of extra tasty medals! No doubt I will be accumulating plenty of those in the not too distant future – wink, wink, hint type clue.

It’s in the can! Look, the envelope that contains the very expensive, professionally designed logo for my wonderful new venture. All will be revealed, in just a moment.

It’s got MY name on it and everything.

Do sit still will you? All that jiffling about is making me peckish . . . maybe there’s time for another quick snack.
‘Get on with it’? Oh, alright, Peregrine.

Ahem – I can now reveal my very Important News.

It gives me great pleasure to announce The OLYMPIG GAMES 2012 are to be held HERE, in Fairy-Land next summer – and you are all invited to compete!

We thought it would be a Good Idea to give you plenty of time to get into training. I know some of you more indolent types will need all the help you can get, not mentioning any names, Mariella.

I have already drawn up a big list of events I am likely to win, including The Back Stroke (put me down for the Sweetcorn Gold Medal), The Stretchiest Pig (ditto), Widest Yawn, Tidiest Teeth, Cross Country (a trot round the grass), The Hay-Tossing Championships, The Pop, Skip and Jump, Relay Zoomies and what not.

If you would like to propose some more events then let me know.

Thank you everyone for attending, Mr Bear for taking the Minutes (it took him hours), Regiane’s-Logo’s-While-U-Wait-Service for our smashing Olympigs Logo, The Olympig Committee Mouses for their squeakiness and for YOU, my devoted public, for . . . well, making it all worthwhile.

This meeting is adjourned until the next one.

THANK YOU! You can bring on the snacks now, Mr Bear.

Fairy Supervises Stir-Up Sunday!

Right-ho my people, grab your Pinnies, we are going to be very busy in the kitchen. Today is officially ‘Stir-Up Sunday’. The day when everyone who’s anyone bakes something tasty in anticipation of that far and distant date, Christmas day.

Before I go any further though, I am just a tad concerned you may have missed my now legendary ‘Fairy Tries Her Hand At Inventing‘ post. Make sure to have a good gander and be all suitably enthralled at just what a little madam I am. My Mummy is always saying that I am a ‘proper little madam’ and everything, so it must be true.

Have you donned your best baking Pinny?
Right then, let’s have a look in my trusty old cake-baking book of cakes.

Oh crumbs! This looks quite a complicated job. All those complicated eggs and flour and fruit type stuff.

Errr, Muuuuuummy, Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddy . . . can you come over here quickly – Please?
I might need to check that you can do this baking malarkey all properly.

That’s it Daddy! Get cracking with those eggs. Tee hee – did you see what I did there????

Mummy – hurry up over there and get that horrid whirrry thingy all buzzy – and be jolly quick about it!

Yes, that looks about right – all soft and creamy – yuk!

I thought this was supposed to be a fruitycake. Isn’t there a certain important ingredient type something missing?

Right – I’ll count the bits and you pour them in Daddy. 1, 2, 3, 19, 36, 12, 74, 21 . . . lots. Perfect!

Now for the all important ‘stir-up Sunday’ part. Where we all take a turn to stir and make a wish!

I Wish – ‘We could have a more sensible Christmas cake made from tasty salad, grass, hay and everything, not this muck!’

All we have to do now is sit patiently and wait while It gets all baked and ready type thing.

There we are, all done. It’s easy peasy when you know how!
Shall I cut you a slice to test it out, Daddy? Well, you will jolly well have to wait until Christmas Day – teehee!

Fairy: Hay Tossing Champion!

Hello Fairy-Followers, Friends and fans!
If it is a while since you last deigned to pay a visit then you really need to read my previous missive – Fairy Tries Her Hand At Inventing, it would appear that it has got me noticed by a certain whiskery personage!

I have an admirer! Yes, yes I know what you are going to say, ‘You have a LOT of admirers, Fairy’!
Well, I KNOW that, but my new admirer is a, a, a BOY piggy! Goes by the name of Yum Yum. What kind of name is THAT, I ask you?

His latest antics, all designed to try and attract little ol’ me, The Great Hay Toss of 2011, really do take the biscuit!

Humph – everyone knows I am the undisputed World Champion Hay Tossing ExtraordaFairy. Of all time. For ever. So there!

Daddy says it is good to share (don’t think he means food or cuddle cups or anything of that nature), so I am going to share my Hay Tossing secrets. Come with me as I guide you through the arcane process. Don’t forget to marvel at my inestimable skills and flawless technique.

First gather your hay, making sure to wear a bit of it on your ear flap.
Approach the hay-heap with trepidation – you don’t want to scare it off before you start, now do you?

Burrow your head into aforementioned hay.
HANDY TIP – you are unlikely to have much time to EAT while tossing, so now’s the time to have a sneaky nibble or three.

Now, take a big, deep breath and . . . shake . . .

. . . and TOSS! Note my wonderfully toned neck muscles.

There! What perfection – better give up YUM YUM and try your hand at butt waggling instead!

Time for a leisurely lap of honour. I’ll take you through it one more time.
You need to burrow your head into the hay . . .
oh, hold on a minute while I have my snack-break!
I may be a while . . .

Fairy tries her hand at Inventing!

Oh, hello there! I am just having some quality time with my Daddy.
Can you just scritch a bit higher Daddy? Down a bit . . . . up a bit! Oooh! That’s really perfect!
What a lovely, jolly useful Daddy.

What’s that, Daddy? You are going away for a couple of days? Eeeeeeek! WHEN exactly? Oh heck, how inconsiderate. That means I won’t get my full quota of daily back rubs.

Now then Fairy – don’t panic. Let me see . . . time to consult my little book of brilliant inventions. It has all the answers!

Right then, quiet please, I am going to be exceptionally busy in my little workshop.
If you all promise to sit still and keep quiet, you can watch, learn and wonder.
Pay attention now!

I just need to gather some of my trusty tools . . .

They are kept in this jolly useful biscuit tin type contrivance – pity there isn’t a sustaining snack or two in there too. All this inventing is jolly hard work and hungry tum making.

First, you need to draw up lots of green prints, complex plans, detailed drawings of what it is you are going to invent and all complicated things like that. Leonardo De Pigggy got all his very best ideas from me!
Lots of scrunched up balls of paper make it look like you have had loads of very Good Ideas. More good ideas than you could shake an antique measuring type stick at!

Yuk! Get this nasty bit of wood thingy off my head top – everyone knows guinea pigs hate shavings!

Right, just let me consult my inventing book again . . .

Oh yes! Now for the really tricky part . . . for this bit you need some suitable stand-in handy type wotsits – just like these –

They need to be pink, just like Daddy hands. Just a mo, I must perform my handy-stand-in suitability test.
They need to be able to perform perfect pats – just like this. Check!

But what about these pudgy finger ends? Will they pass the highly technical itchy-scritchyness test?

Mummmmmy! Can you put the pesky batteries in so I can get my invention all road tested.

I’m all braced and ready! You can turn them on now please Mummy – soon as you like.

Oh yes! This is all very nice and ‘Rubbery’!

The finger tip action is just the job, giving my shoulders a nice relaxing rub. And yes – this invention does have a proper patent and everything – that’s what makes it so shiny.

I can’t help but think there’s something missing though . . . .

Watch-it! Now they really do look like my real Daddy with time on his hands.

What do you reckon, Mummy? I think my new prototype invention type thingy is just like the real thing – but a lot quieter.

I will miss my real Daddy’s handy scritches . . . but these super duper Fairy flippers will be just the job for a day or two, I suppose.
Now, about my dinner . . .