Monthly Archives: July 2010

Fairy Grows Grass – On An Industrial Scale!

That grass growing experiment we did recently went very well. The only problem being that there wasn’t quite enough to grow round, so to speak. Actually, there might well have been if Mariella had been put on a strict diet. I know, I was the only one who thought she should be on one! Anyway, we have decided that the only logical solution is to step-up grass growing production dramatically. The other day we took delivery of of some extra large bulk packs of seeds in readiness!

Magic Grass 6 (4)

Here we are at The Grass Growing Manufactory and it’s action stations, all paws on deck, and other urgent sounding phrases!

As you can see, the first batch has germinated and is looking to be in fine fettle.

Daddy says that, according to the directions, the grass has to grow to 150 ‘something’s’ before it is ready. Humph – I don’t think I can be quite 150 something’s, but I certainly am ready!

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Here we are at the first measuring event.

Lower away . . . steady . . . to me a bit . . . to you . . . hold it there . . .

Fairy grow it yourself measuring session (2)

Now let me see – it says ‘3’. Crikey, that’s another ‘147’ to go!!!!! This is going to take ages.

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Daddy, are you sure that measuring device thingy hasn’t stretched?

Fairy grow it yourself measuring session (3)

Oh well, suppose we had better wait a bit longer – it doesn’t say anything in the directions about not being allowed a crafty sample munch or two though!

Perhaps it is time for a little bit of Fairy Magic, to help speed things along a little.

Fairy grow it yourself measuring session (5)

Here it is, sprinkled with my Magical Fairy Drops – they will certainly help to get it growing quickly!

Fairy grass close ups (7)

Ha – they worked a treat! Looks to me like at least 200 something’s – lets get measuring.

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Wow – 150 munches exactly! Looks like Daddy even managed to get the measuring thingy planted properly too.

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Err, does anybody know where the exit is?

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If somebody doesn’t give me a hand in a moment, I will have to eat my way out!

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Now then everybody – stand aside, it is time to welcome the honoured guest (me) to the Grand Grass Opening Ceremony.

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Ladies and Gentleman, Piggies and . . . err, other Piggies – Taaa-raaa-raa-raaa, I hereby declare this Tray of Grass . . officially . . . wait for it Marigold . . . OPEN!

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Okay then, you can start to tuck-in now.

Oi! Don’t bite off more than you can chew, Mariella – there’s plenty for everyone!

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Thanks Fairy, nom, nom, nom, burp oops pardon! This might keep us going until teatime.

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Well that was jolly good while it lasted – which wasn’t quite as long as I would have wished.

Marigold and Mariella had better start working lots of overtime to ensure I have a regular crop!

You’d think everyone would have cottoned on to this ‘Grow-It-Yourself-Grass’ malarkey – it’s the bees knees! Or should that be the piggies whiskers?!

Fairy's grass box has been eaten! (3)

Many thanks to Gorgeous Guineas and Planet Guinea for supplying more seeds for advanced testing – they were just the ticket!

Grow-It-Yourself-Grass Seeds are available to buy in the UK from Planet Guinea (contact Karen at Guinea Pig Welfare if you are unable to order online). Similar yummy grass products may be found locally worldwide. If you can recommend a reliable source, please let me know and we will be happy to add a link right here on Fairy’s Blog.

Fairy Grows Grass! FREE Online Tutorial.

Righty ho. This looks like the perfect spot to show off my horticultural expertise. Just need to get all my equipment spread out. These little plastic pots are just the ticket!

Magic Grass 1 (2)

Now then, you two can be my Posse. Pay close attention, look photogenic and don’t forget to make me look good. Don’t say too much either because you might get it all wrong. Just stay put in your bags – I like the stripes, they are rather fetching aren’t they?!

Magic Grass 2 (4)

Try not to make so much rustling noise Marigold – goodness me, I can’t hear myself think.

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Opening music, lights, camera and . . . ACTION!

Oh! Am I on? What, now!!!

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Hello, good evening and welcome to ‘Fairy Grows Grass’, starring me and my very bestest friends, who have to appear for contractual reasons but don’t actually do very much in the way of creative input or indeed, any of the actual hard work.

Before we get down to the growing stuff, a couple of honourable mentions:

I am deeply indebted to Gorgeous Guineas who very kindly supplied us with sample packets of seeds for testing purposes, and to our great friends at Planet Guinea. They have insisted on supplying us with even more seeds on a regular basis. This means we will be doing lots of testing and I will be doing even more nibbling. I have, of course, readily agreed to waive my usual charges – anything for lots of slap up feeds!

Now – it’s on with the show!

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Lets have a nice close-up showing my best smile and everything.

What you must do to get the grass stuff growing is, take a good sized saucer and fill with best quality compost. Get Mummy or Daddy to do this because it can be a bit messy and you wouldn’t want to get your paws all dirty now would you? Anyway, it’s all in a day’s work to them and a bit too much like hard work for me.

Magic Grass 2 (8)b.

Right, use this handy rake thingy to spread the seeds thinly over the compost. Is this right Mummy?

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Hummph – this is definitely getting a bit too much like hard work – soon be time for a commercial snack break.

Actually, I think this saucer thing needs a lot more seeds to make it worth all the effort. It’s a good job we have plenty in stock.

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Pile them in, that’s it Marigold, they’ll be as right as ninepence! Yum, that’s more like it!

Magic Grass 2 (1)

Add a drop of water and that is all there is to it. It’s easy peasy!

Remember to smile sweetly at the camera again.

Magic Grass 2 (17)b.

Well, that wasn’t too hard now was it Mariella?

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What you do next is sit back and watch as the seeds germinate and grow into lunch before your very eyes.

Does my nose look big through this?

Magic Grass 3 (6)

Keep a close eye on them and . . . here comes lunch . . . keep watching . . . any second now . . .

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Err – Not much seems to be happening just yet. And Mariella has nodded off!

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No, nothing. Hummph, not even a weed! Come on seeds, don’t shilly-shally!

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Mummy, Mummy come quick. There appears to be a slight major technical hitch.

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Can we stop the camera while I consult with Mummy please?

Magic Grass 3 (17)b.

Hummph, I know patience can be a virtue for some people – but there are limits!

I’ve been waiting lots and lots of ages and I am getting VERY hungry.

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Okay, right, I see. It seems we may need to give them a little bit longer before they actually do something.

What’s that Daddy, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’?

Very profound I am sure. But what exactly ‘Rome’ has got to do with my grass seeds, I do not know!

Magic Grass 3 (21)

It must be getting late, yawn – soon be bedtime. Yawn. I can hardly keep my eyes open.

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Mummy, is it okay if we sleep out tonight to guard the grass things? We don’t want to miss any of the action.

Marigold and Mariella can snooze in their sleeping bags.

Magic Grass 5 night (1)

MARIELLA, can you keep those snoring type noises down a bit please?

Magic Grass 5 night (3)

Night, night my people.

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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z z z z

Fairy snoozing 1 (4)b

Wow – look what happened overnight! Yippee! Time for our breakfast!

Yum yum, nom, nom, burp! sorry pardon, nom . . . perfect.

Magic Grass 4 (1)b.

This grass growing business really is Magic! And I did it all by myself – ‘Just like that’!

Magic Grass 6 (2)

Don’t forget, you can buy your very own packets of special scrummy seeds direct from Planet Guinea.

By following my detailed instructionals programme above, you are sure to grow your very own tray of fresh, scrumptious grass, in no time at all! Well, maybe not quite as quick as mine – for that you would need my added ‘Fairy Magic’!

I hope you enjoy growing (and munching) it just as much as we all do here!

Three Pigs In A Home!

Hello my people. I am often asked by someone, what is the ideal number of piggy’s in a household? Well, we were given a present of this super-dooper, attractive sign thing by my piggy-daddy, Ernie, the other day. And, by jingo, it’s just the job for helping me to answer that very important question.

Take a quick gander at my present – what do you reckon then?

Ernie's lovely gifts! (3)

In my opinion, which is well known for always being right, THREE piggies per home is the optimum quantity!

When it comes to that all important subject of food, for example, a large helping of salad can be easily spit up into three fair share piggy portions of a half each – biggest half for me, and then half each of what’s left over for the other two piggies. There is a very useful tried a trusted formula you can use. I’ll share it with you here:

Let food = T, Piggies = 3 and Home = 1

Then, Portion = (T/3 + 1)(Fairy x lots)/(T – 1/2) = mine

Or something like that anyway. It’s probably too complicated for you to grasp.

Moving swiftly on. Come on now, you two, time for a quick group photo. Look at the camera thingy and say ‘grass’!

Ernie's lovely gifts! (5)

He he! That went very well! What do you reckon Mariella? Oh! Are you feeling a bit tired?? Well, just rest your chins there a while and maybe it would be best if you didn’t eat anything at all for an hour or two – get your strength up for supper later on.
Keep you fur on Marigold – you can have a go up here in a minute, while I go get my tea!

Ernie's lovely gifts! (4)

The Grass Is Always Greener . . .

C’mon you two, we’re moving lawns! Look, the grass is greener over yonder!

Fairy moves threads (1)

Pack your cuddle cups and snoozing bags, and bring plenty of nourishing snacks for the journey.

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We’d better get topped up, Marigold, Fairy usually knows what she is munching about

Fairy moves threads (2) .

. . . nom, nom, nom. I don’t know why we have to move, Mariella. The grass is very tasty here.

You’re right, Marigold, nom, nom, nom, but Fairy says the grass will be even tastier on the other side of the lawn.

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This last grass snack is top notch.

If it isn’t up to scratch when we get there, I am coming straight back!

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The lettuce isn’t to be sneezed at either – unlike the sneezy pollen!

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Watch out Marigold, mind your fury nose. We don’t want to run you over.

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Right! We’re off! Toot-toot!

Are we nearly there yet? I’m feeling peckish.

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We’re there! That didn’t take long. Time to disembark. Watch out below – here I come

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Well, the lawn over here is rather nice Marigold . . . but I’m not quite sure – it looks so big and scary. I hope we will fit in ok!

Let’s go check it out Mariella. After all, there isn’t room under here for us both! Be brave now!

Fairy moves threads (9)

Well it might not always be greener, but the grass is always just as tasty, on the other side of the lawn.

It’s time to get down to some serious lawn mowing – which remind me, where are my special Grow-It-Yourself-Grass seeds?

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To Whom It May Concern!

Dear The Manager, The Grow-It-Yourself-Grass Company,

It is Fairy here again. I recently had the privilege of sampling a tray of your delicious grass, and very good it was too. However, before I could even enjoy it for a second time, my so called loving sisters managed to sneak in and gobble up every last bit, right down to the soil. Unbelievable!

I was wondering if there was anything I could do to hasten its re growth. I have run my mower over it, watered it, placed it in the sun and I am STILL waiting. I waited almost at least an hour. Do you think it might be faulty? To be on the safe side, please despatch more seeds without delay.

Yours, most hungrily, Fairy.

PS If you need a Quality Control Manager type Guinea Pig to test future batches of Grow-It-Yourself-Grass then please do not hesitate to contact me. I think I may be able to find some time in my busy schedule to fit you in. Being somewhat of a worldwide expert in the salad and vegetable consumption industry, you can rely on my growing and tasting skills to provide you with an esteemed evaluation of your products.

PPS Mummy knows lots of people on the internet thing so that is worth some extra seeds too.

PPPS Please hurry up, I am starving!!!

Fairy letter writing (4)

Dear Chrissie,

I hope you are well and as Gorgeous as ever. I am sorry to say that I have a serious problem and require your immediate assistance.

As I am sure you will recall, you kindly sent me a sachet of Grow-It-Yourself-Grass for my Birthday. Mummy and Daddy kindly planted it for me, and very enjoyable it eventually turned out to be! So enjoyable in fact, I now find it impossible to go back to snacking on boring old normal grass.

So what is the problem I hear you cry? The problem is, Marigold and Mariella got their teeth into it – they have gobbled it all up and I am having to be a patient piggy, forced to wait while it re grows – it seems to be taking ages. I keep checking it every hour or two and it doesn’t seem to have grown very much at all.

Anyway, please don’t worry, I think I have the perfect solution! The simplest thing would be for you to send me lots more seeds. Three packs please, one each for Marigold and Mariella so they can grow their own, plus a bumper packet for me. I can then have some growing while I eat the crop that has already grown. Better make it 4 packets to be on the safe side.

Yours, Fairy x

PS I am sure Daddy will be happy to pay for it, because he says I am a ‘Proper Little Madam’. Which is definitely a compliment.

Fairy letter writing (2)

The Birds, The Bees and Babies!

G’day my people!

I am just on my way to visit Minty and Monty. I need to have a little ‘talk’ with them about something very important.

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I hope Minty likes these pretty flowers, I picked them especially and didn’t even eat one!

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Now then Minty and Monty, I thought I’d drop by and see how married life is treating you?

You have been married for a month now and there are certain matters of a delicate nature that we need to discuss.

It’s nice that we can sit out in the sunshine and relax while we have our little chat. Would it be possible to arrange for some snacks though? It seems ages since I had my post lunch top-up. Oh and a cooling drink – I’m beginning to feel a bit hot.

Fairy and adopt a mouse baby (1)

Now while you two sit up straight and concentrate on paying attention and not giggling, I am going to get a little booklet that will help me to explain certain matters more fully.

Fairy and adopt a mouse baby (2)

Right, deep breath, here goes. Minty and Monty my dears, you are both healthy mice and it is only natural that your thoughts may be turning towards err, gulp – starting a family.

Oh dear, is it me or is it getting very hot in here?

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Planning a family is not a matter to take lightly. There are many pitfalls and lots of things can go wrong.

Pay close attention to this section, and those diagrams, and all will become clear. Hopefully!

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Goodness, where’s mummy when you need her?

You see, it isn’t too complicated is it? All you need to ensure is that you follow the procedures carefully and don’t worry if nothing seem to be happening. It can take ages sometimes but it will be worth the wait. Before you both know it, you will be blessed with the pitter patter of tiny paws.

Fairy and adopt a mouse baby (14)

That wasn’t so difficult.

Monty and Minty are going to send off for a baby mouse from their local Adopt-a-Mouse Rescue centre. They have some beautiful little mice.

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Well done you two – there are so many babies needing good homes.

Maybe you could ask for a baby AND a toddler mouse, then they can play together then!

Fairy and adopt a mouse baby (8)

Your local Adopt-a-Mouse Rescue Centre will be glad you had the good sense to act responsibly.

Can you excuse me now, I really need to go and have my tea.

Fairy and adopt a mouse baby (16) b

Gosh Minty, I thought Fairy was going to give us her ‘Birds and Bees’ talk!

Minty and Monty plan their adoption (1)

Yes Monty, so did I! How embarrassing would that have been? Give us a kiss!

Minty and Monty plan their adoption (4)

Everything In The Garden’s NOT So Rosy!

It is a lovely warm Sunday afternoon and the sun is shining. There is a light cooling breeze to gently ruffle my silky fur as I sit here snacking on my Grow-It-Yourself-Grass. Life is truly wonderful!

Now, where was I? Oh yes – nom, nom, nom . . .

Fairy's grass box has been eaten! (3)

Humm, now, where are those two furry mischief makers? Up to no good I wouldn’t wonder.

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Oh, where did I put that grass?

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It seems to have moved.

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It isn’t over here either!

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Just a cotton pickin’ minute . . .

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It’s GONE! There is nothing left except a few miserable stalks. Grrrrrr!!!

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Calm. Be very CALM Fairy. There must be a perfectly reasonable explanation that has nothing to do with those great hulking furry termites that have the temerity to call themselves ‘family’! Well there had better be.

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Mummy! MUMMY! I need a word please. QUICK!!!

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Oh I see. It is much better to share a special treat with my sisters than be greedy and eat it all myself, is it?

Fairy's grass box has been eaten! (7)

Hmmm. Mummy may be very nice and everything – but she sure has a lot to learn about Guinea Pigs!

One thing I am very sure about – the World hasn’t heard the last of this!

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(to be continued)

Grow It Yourself!

It may not have escaped the more astute followers of my Blog that Marigold and Mariella, my half sisters, are rather more ‘traditionally built’ than my svelte, lithe self. This is due the the vast quantities of salad they consume. As well as their regular meals – breakfast, mid morning snacks, late morning snacks, lunch, afternoon tea, high tea, tea and supper for example Marigold has perfected an ingenious method for obtaining even more fresh salad.

Here she is in action.

Marigold: ‘Fairy, can you test that tunnel out, over there, for cosiness please. You will need to spend a few minutes in it to check is it just the right size to provide the correct amount of squeeziness. Do take your time, won’t you?’

Pignic time, grass tray! (10)

Come on, Mariella! We need to nibble very fast before we are spotted!

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Hahaha! Very funny, Marigold! I bet you thought I wouldn’t notice you and Mariella tucking in to my Grow-It-Yourself-Grass!

Pignic time, grass tray! (1)

It is rather tasty and I don’t mind sharing. You can both have another mouthful if you like.

Pignic time, grass tray! (7)

Whoa! Not such a big mouthful, go steady . . . there won’t be anything left for my supper.

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Mum! MUUM!! Can you come here, Marigold and Mariella have finished now and want to go back in to the playhouse! NOW!

Pignic time, grass tray! (5)

That was a scary moment, I thought they were going to eat it ALL! I think we should order some more seed and plant them a garden of their own. There are some things one doesn’t mind sharing, and maybe I can think of something later. Anyway, Grow-It-Yourself-Grass isn’t called Grow-It-YOURSELF-Grass for nothing!